The holidays are centering points for families. What do you do with the holidays when dealing with divorce or broken relationships, you may wonder, "how can I celebrate anything?" How can you embrace Thanksgiving or sing about "Joy to the World" or light the candles on the menorah or tell the stories of Kwanza when your life is crumbling all around you?

As hard as it is, it's in times of distress and heartache that you absolutely should celebrate the holidays. The fact is the holidays endure through everything. They are part of the solid ground that transcends what's happening on the surface of our lives. They reassure us that there are some things that do not change and demand celebration no matter what. Holidays are about peace and sharing and gratitude and love. During tragedy, or divorce, or heartache we have to reach down and find those core things at a deeper level, a more meaningful level.

Here is a short list of tips to help you move from grief to celebration. The following suggestions will help you and your family move forward through the holidays. Your divorce is not the end of your life. It's not the end of your family. It's not the end of your happiness. It's not the end of your holidays. Things will change, but you will definitely get back to joy, and you just might find that the true meaning of the holidays will shine brighter than ever.

1. Be patient. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your family. You will grieve your losses, but remember what you are really celebrating. You can use this time to find new meaning, a deeper connection, and richer joys that you might have...read more

MOUNT CLEMENS, Mich. -- A Michigan teen has been sentenced to four days in juvenile detention for refusing to visit his father.

Jacob Mastrogiovanni, 14, lives with his mother in Warren. His father, who has joint custody, lives in New Baltimore. Mastrogiovanni said he has deliberately missed court ordered visitations with his father, and because of that, Macomb County Judge John Foster has ruled he should be held in contempt of court and sentenced to time in a youth home.

Mastrogiovanni's mother, Dawn Platevoet, said her son is a hard working student and that she fears for his safety inside the Macomb Juvenile Center. "I'm very worried. I'm very concerned for the well-being of my son," Platevoet said. "The child is being torn in between this kind of situation due to the friend of the court. They're not looking at the best interest for my son." Mastrogiovanni said staying at the youth home for four days would not change his attitude toward his father. "I guess he's going to have to be punished. I don't necessarily like that he's in there but something has to be done," Mastrogiovanni's father, Victor, said by phone Thursday.

Mastrogiovanni would not be specific with why he was refusing to spend time with his father. His reasonings were recorded in a confidentiality agreement being held by the court. Mastrogiovanni said he would rather be in a youth home than visit his father and that he's willing to go back to the youth home again if required by the court.

Mastrogiovanni's family and friends have made signs protesting the judge's decision. "Going to a youth home to be with criminals, for what reason? What is this going to solve? Is it going to benefit the child? Is it going to make matters worse?" Platevoet said.

Mastrogiovanni's mother and grandmother escorted him to the center Thursday evening. He is scheduled to be released Sunday. Platevoet said she plans to picket the court Friday.

When I read the above story several things popped into my mind. What kind of father lets his son go to juvie over visitation? What could the father possibly have done to cause the son to choose juvie over visitation? Is this a case of parental alientation? Is mother so guilty of poisoning her son against his father that she will stop at nothing short of her son spending time in juvie?

Due to the satement by the father..."I guess he's going to have to be punished," I'm leaning toward there being a problem with this father. What kind of father thinks that 4 days in juvie is proper punishment for his son's refusal to visit?

How many fathers reading this blog post think that your child belongs in jail if they refuse to visit?

This is a case of cruel and unusual punishment. It is also another example of the damage adults can do to their children when divorce turns adversarial or they put their needs before the needs of their children.

Related Content:
Tips to Help Restore Your Relationship With Your Child/Children

Are You Guilty of Parental Alienation?

A Father's Rights and Responsiblities

Common Steps Taken During the Divorce Process:

Are you considering divorce and wondering what the process will be like? Your states divorce laws will determine what you go through once you have made the decision. Below is a broad outline describing the sequence of events for most divorce cases. Keep in mind that every divorce is different so, along with these steps you will have issues come up that pertain to your individual divorce.

Legal Separation:

Some states do not have laws that allow a couple to participate in a legal separation. In those states, you are married until a court decides otherwise. If your state laws allow couples to separate legally when one or the other spouse leaves the family residence your attorney will petition the courts for a separation agreement. This agreement protects the interests of both spouses and any children of the marriage by making sure that both parties meet their legal responsibilities to each other.

If your state doesn't have laws that allow a legal separation your next step would be to...read more about the divorce process

Women are six times more likely to end up separated or divorced if they are diagnosed with cancer or multiple sclerosis than if their male partners were facing the same illness, according to a U.S. study.

The study confirmed earlier research of a divorce or separation rate among cancer patients of 11.6 percent, similar to the general population, but found the rate jumped to 20.8 percent when the woman was sick versus 2.9 percent when the man was ill.

"Female gender was the strongest predictor of separation or divorce in each of the patient groups we studied," said Marc Chamberlain, director of the neuro-oncology program at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA).

The researchers said the reason men leave a sick spouse can be partly explained by their inability to rapidly adjust to becoming a caregiver and to look after the home and family.

Here is my issue with the study...divorce rates are higher among women diagnosed with cancer but does that mean it was the husband who filed for divorce?

I think there are some assumptions made in the study based on little knowledge of who actually took the first step toward divorce. I'm sure there are men, just as there are women who leave after a spouse is diagnosed with a life altering illness.

Let's face it, some people of both genders don't do well under stressful situations and will take a hike rather than support a sick spouse.

The researchers in this study took some data...women with cancer divorce more often. They then jumped to the conclusion that those women divorced because their husbands had abandoned them.

For me this is just another example of society viewing men and low-lives that lack emotional stamina and women as victims of such men.