I don't encourage anyone to divorce. From my experience divorce doesn't solve problems, it only adds to the problems you already have.

In some cases a marriage is so far beyond repair, a few extra problems post divorce is no reason to stay. What do you do in today's economy where money is short and problems can seem overwhelming?

Find yourself a Flat Fee Attorney. Instead of hiring an attorney who charges a retainer fee and high hourly rates, hire one who will take care of the divorce process, from beginning to end for one flat fee.

When to Use a Flat Fee Attorney:

• When there is low conflict between spouses. And, nothing is better than decreasing conflict that saving money on a divorce. If your spouse seems unwilling to negotiate issues like child support and the division of marital assets suggesting a flat fee attorney may cause him/her to become more willing to negotiate.
• Couples who want to spend less time in court and on the divorce process benefit by hiring their own, individual flat fee attorney. You can negotiate the legal issues have your attorneys make sure your legal rights are protected, draw up the paperwork, file it with the courts and you are done.

If you are bent and determined to divorce but can't handle those high legal fees check out a local flat fee attorney and get on with solving all those problems you'll face post-divorce.

The person with Avoidant Personality Disorder is extremely sensitive to what others think about them. So sensitive that they suffer severe anxiety at the thought of saying or doing the wrong thing.

Most are people pleasers who bend over backwards to make others happy. The give and give and give until they have nothing left to give. In my experience, it is someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder who is more likely to experience a Midlife Crisis.

Below are the symptoms of Avoidant Personality Disorder and an example of each behavior.

• Must Be Well Liked: This person does not become involved with others unless they know they are held in high esteem.

  An example, Jane is a fantastic cook. She takes cooking classes and delivers meals to people in need. The problem, if it doesn't have something to do with cooking Jane doesn't become involved. She only puts herself in a position to be around others who praise her and she knows, with her cooking she will always receive praise. Jane spends a lot of time alone...in her kitchen.

• Not Open to Intimate Relationships: This person fears rejection or ridicule by someone they've become romantically...post continued

Do you keep things from your spouse, not communicate for fear of being rejected or dismissed? You can't bond appropriately with your spouse if you are not willing to open up and allow them to know you, to get close to you and who you are. Trust comes from allowing your spouse to know you inside and out and your spouse reciprocating.

Communication is an important way to relieve stress and build a healthier bond between couples. If you don't feel comfortable communicating with your spouse this could be a sign that you feel a lack of trust in your spouse. A marriage can't survive where there are issues of trust.

Few marriages avoid marital problems that violate trust. If you are married, you will have marital problems. The key to working through and maintaining a healthy level of trust is...post continued

The concept of "boundaries," what they are and how to implement them can be confusing. I remember having a Home Economics teacher in High School who told the class that when you marry, you and your spouse become one.

Even at 17 years old I knew there was no way I could "become one" with another human being. That I had a sense of self and giving up that would be detrimental emotionally. Often in marriage the lines are skewed, one spouse's sense of self becomes entangled with that of their spouse.

It is easy to lose sight of what is oneself and what isn't oneself. In other words, couples tend to take on responsibilities for the other that are not theirs to take on. They become enmeshed emotionally and there are no boundaries that protect each from the other's hurtful behavior.

Below Are A Few Suggestions For Setting Boundaries With Your Midlife Crisis Spouse:

• Your spouse is an individual who takes responsibility for his/her own behaviors. Once you define what you are responsible for and what he/she is responsible for you no longer have to own anyone's behaviors but your own.

For example, if your midlife crisis spouse is drinking heavily and allowing it to interfere his/her ability to work it is not your responsibility to cover for him/her. When a spouse goes through a midlife crisis it is easy to enable their bad behavior by...continue post