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Cathy Meyer

Funny Divorce Quotes

By August 29, 2007

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I love the quote by Robin Williams. I'm sure there are a lot of divorcing women out there who wish it were possible. And, Norman Mailer hits the nail on the head doesn't he? That goes for both sexes. We dont' really know anyone until we meet them in divorce court.

“I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.”
Edward Albee

“You don't know a women till you've met her in court.”
Norman Mailer

“Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.”
Henny Youngman

“I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. “
Elayne Boosler

“She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.” (married 13 times, to 11 women)
Tommy Manville

“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams

“I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor

“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce”
Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

“American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced”
Elinor Glyn

“The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money”
Johnny Carson

"Just another of our many disagreements. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified."
J.B. Handlesman

"If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?"

“The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce.”
John Kenneth Galbraith

“There are four stages in a marriage. First there's the affair, then the marriage, then children and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.”
Norman Mailer

September 3, 2007 at 11:35 am
(1) Dave says:

If we marry “until death do us part” and one of the couple attempt suicide, does that mean they were attempting to get out of the relationship?

September 17, 2008 at 11:25 am
(2) Doug says:


February 2, 2011 at 1:09 am
(3) No Fault Divorce VA says:

Really good Collection. If you get time look at my collection as well.They are only 15 in number so won’t take much of your time.I think the Tommy Manville quote is by far the best. As sad as divorce is, it is great to be able to step back and see the lighter side.
No Fault Divorce VA

September 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm
(4) Vanessa says:

Maybe you’re a psycho. So obviously

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