7 Questions You Should Answer Before Filing For Divorce

Do you want to get divorced? The decision to divorce is critical, with consequences that can last a lifetime. Marital problems, pain in your relationship and frustration with it does not always mean divorce.

Below are questions you should ask yourself before you get divorced. Go over these questions together, as a couple. Should you decide divorce is the answer for you, at least your spouse won’t be blindsided by your feelings.

1. Do you still have feelings for your spouse?

Have your feelings diminished or, are you feeling powerless over a problem in the marriage and due to this, there is a lack of emotional closeness. If there are still feelings of love and affection then you should work on the relationship before deciding on divorce.

You do not want to get caught up in the emotions of a situation like divorce and then realize you’ve made a mistake. If there is any love left, seeking couples therapy will mean not suffering feelings of loss after an un-needed divorce.

2. Was there even a marriage to begin with?

If your marriage has never been anything more than two people living together and getting their own needs met then divorce may be the answer. Marriage is a unified coupling of two people who work for the best interest of the relationship. Married couples work together for the good of the relationship. If there is no “couple,” only two people fighting for their own needs then, now would be a good time to either commit to changing the dynamics of the relationship or parting ways.

3. Is it divorce you want or, are you just threatening divorce?

Are you angry at your spouse and threatening divorce out of frustration over the problems in the marriage? Do you use threats of divorce to get your way or as a means of having power over your spouse?

Are you frustrated and feel that threatening divorce will finally get your spouses attention and they will take you seriously? If it is solutions you are looking for, threatening divorce will not get you where you want to be. You need couples therapy for that. If it is divorce then stop threatening and take a...read more