I hear it so often from people in what they consider to be a bad marriage…”when do I quit, when do I stop beating my head against the wall and accept that it is over?”
It is a question I ask my self on many occasions during my marriage. I had made a commitment; I was to stay for “better or worse.” I felt it my obligation to do whatever I could to not break the vows I had made. So obligated that I was giving up who I was and becoming someone I didn’t like.
So, when people ask me, “when is it time to quit” I tell them if the person they are becoming is someone they don’t like, they need to get out of the marriage. If you are in a marriage that requires you to:
- Put aside goals you have set for yourself.
- Isolates you from friends and family.
- Limits what you are allowed to do for entertainment.
- Change your belief system.
- Constantly nag to get what you want and need.
- Make excuses for your spouse’s behavior.
- Feel as if you have to walk on eggshells.
- Live in fear of abuse.
- Let go of who you are as an individual.
- Worry constantly over the problems in the marriage.
- Question yourself over and over again about why you are still there.