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I hear it so often from people in what they consider to be a bad marriage…”when do I quit, when do I stop beating my head against the wall and accept that it is over?”

It is a question I ask my self on many occasions during my marriage. I had made a commitment; I was to stay for “better or worse.” I felt it my obligation to do whatever I could to not break the vows I had made. So obligated that I was giving up who I was and becoming someone I didn’t like.

So, when people ask me, “when is it time to quit” I tell them if the person they are becoming is someone they don’t like, they need to get out of the marriage. If you are in a marriage that requires you to:

  • Put aside goals you have set for yourself.

  • Isolates you from friends and family.

  • Limits what you are allowed to do for entertainment.

  • Change your belief system.

  • Constantly nag to get what you want and need.

  • Make excuses for your spouse’s behavior.

  • Feel as if you have to walk on eggshells.

  • Live in fear of abuse.

  • Let go of who you are as an individual.

  • Worry constantly over the problems in the marriage.

  • Question yourself over and over again about why you are still there.
It is time to give up if you find yourself consumed with worry over the problems in your marriage even though you have done all you know you can do to try and solve those problems. When the problems in your marriage consume most of your energy, you are wasting energy and should...read more
November 18, 2012 at 1:52 am
(1) Zak says:

Only been married for 2 weeks and its been hell. I do not give a rat’s behind about carrying on the marriage. She plays games, has a constant set of rules on minor things, and everytime I go above and beyond I end up paying for it. She publishes on facebook so she can get attention when we are fighting and has no problem throwing in my face that “well 99% of my friends all say you are so out of line……….” Well guess what, I don’t rule my life by what the general populus says. So I’m done with this. Does anybody know if I can get a legal annulment?

February 14, 2014 at 4:29 pm
(2) Kelly Dixon says:

Please help I have been married to a child I have to do to much I assume most od the financial responsibility. He has several people garnishing his check child support, irs student loans his check wont cover the ins and car payment let alone rent. We have been talking about him getting a 2nd job for 3 years hasn’t happened. He doesn’t even open the bills has no idea when things are due. And today he came home early from work to say hr is short on rent again. I have tried to help him for 3 years but he’s not changin. No DL, can’t get a passport so there’s no traveling outside the us which is my passion. Nothing but struggle with this man unless I pay. I know I said for better or worse but its been worse for awhile. Help

February 17, 2014 at 11:26 pm
(3) kris says:

Hope you signed a prenup.

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