Why Is The Divorce Rate So High?
I am often asked why I believe the divorce rate is so high. I am often told why others feel the divorce rate is so high. I have an opinion and so does everyone else.
It surprises me that the opinions of some are rather simplistic when explaining the high divorce rate in our country. Some point a finger at feminist, others blame a lack of commitment.
Based own my experience it goes deeper than feminism or a lack of commitment by spouses to the marriage. Below are a few observations from those experiences:
- People end up in divorce court because they wait too long to find solutions to the problems in their marriage. We are a nation of highly independent people and in my opinion that independence we covet stands in the way of us being able to humble ourselves and ask for help.
We don’t like to think we can’t solve a problem alone. We are of the mind that if we work harder we can deal with the issues. What we don’t stop to consider is that, if you don’t have the skills needed to work through the problems it doesn’t matter how hard you work. A little humility, a little less faith in ourselves to handle it all and a willingness to admit to needing help would keep quite a few couples from becoming a victim of divorce.
- Couples don’t know how to fight fairly. They have this romantic notion that if they are in “love” there should be no fighting. Once the fighting begins, they are so flabbergasted by the idea that someone who loves them would criticize them that all hell breaks out.
Instead of realizing that fighting can be healthy for a relationship, people become highly offended, start harboring resentment and start withdrawing...read more about divorce rates
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Co many articles have been written on men cheating and the effects onthe family and spouce. However in my case the ex husband from across the strees has been having a secret affair with my wife for over 7 years on a “booty call” basis as my wife is well respected teacher and church teacher and has a “Position” in the community and can not be found out! This puts me in a bad position due to lack of evidence and their careful planning and spur of the moment meetings makes it hard to catch them. I have little evidence but have some and have been through so much mentan and emotional trama. They both plany with me as I AM MENTALLY ILL which i am not but no one will believe me as to her affair. THis is so frustrating and makes so angry. Soon I can be free of tis situation. I have help. Thanks for listening.
Society no longer holds individuals accoutable for their actions! What happened to your obligation to commitment/legal contracts that are made in a marriage. Adultry is not only legal-it is morrally accepted by society and even encourged in may instances! This has got to stop! What happended to commitment and your oath or word meaning something? Other than “commuity property” and you are the one on the “gaining end” what is the point of marriage anymore?
Based on my religious beliefs, a divorce roots from the choices a man makes. Two Examples include choosing to marry a woman who doesn’t have mutual romantic feelings, and rationalizing a woman’s behavior.
I am recently divorced, and know quite a few friends who are. Not one of them, including me, did this because of cheating.
I think the rising divorce rate is driven by 3 things. In order of importance (most important first):
1. Pressure, economics, the change in the American lifestyle.
Since the 1970s, we have become a nation where many many couples have both spouses working full-time. We are also moving around a lot, so our extended families are no longer nearby. On top of that, the economy and standard of living have declined so much that even with two working spouses, it is very hard to maintain the standard of living that couples had in the 1950s and 60s. By “standard of living”, I don’t just mean wealth. I mean a standard in which people could work AND rest AND be together at home.
If you think that the lifestyle that couples are living now isn’t destroying marriages, think again. If you work all the time, and spend your only “off time” tending children, chores and the household, how can a marriage possibly survive?
2. Lack of accountability, punishment, respect for law – call it ” – call it “personal responsibility”.
Yup – we are a nation of lazy, excuse-making whiners. Marriages don’t survive well in that environment.
3. “Feminism” – Please read before you blow a gasket.
No, I don’t really mean the movement for women’s rights. That’s why I put it in quotes. What I mean is that before the surge in feminism in the 1970s, males and females had much more clearly defined roles. That left women holding the bag for a lot of housework and chores, and rotten pay, and it wasn’t fair. BUT, we have replaced it with a system where only SOME of those inequalities have been righted, and I think that’s worse for marriage than what we had before. Women now work as much as men, compete with men, and although not equal, they are approaching the pay and careers of men.
Well, whoop-de-doo, because now they also have the stress, the lack of home time, and the lack of domestic time or skills that men always had.
That means that NEITHER partner in the marriage is much of a domestic home-maker. Well, SOMEBODY bloody well has to be good at that. Making a home is NICE THING TO HAVE. It’s important to marriage.
What has happened is that in our zeal to equalize things for women, we have made domestic life, or “homemaking” a dirty word.
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If we don’t retrench to a way of life that prioritizes plain, uncluttered, domestic life, less money, and less career pressure, the state of marriage is only going to keep getting worse.