According to federal statistics there were 237,902 workers laid off during the month of February. We are living in tough economic times and along with mass layoffs, unemployment benefit claims or on the rise.
If you pay child support and are the victim of a salary reduction or layoff you may no longer be able to pay the same amount in child support since the amount you are now paying was calculated on your previous income.
What do you do if you are laid off or take a reduction in salary? The first thing you do is take legal action to protect yourself. Hire an attorney and file for a modification of child support from the courts.
To protect yourself in the long-term you need that court ordered, downward modification in child support. If you find yourself unable to make an entire payment or a payment at all and fall behind, when you do get a modification it will not apply to the past due child support you owe.
To keep yourself from falling behind, contact an attorney and get the ball rolling as on a downward modification as soon as possible. If you can’t afford an attorney call your local court clerk and ask what steps you need to take to file for a modification as a Pro Se litigant.
Tell me, how can a person who just lost their job, and cannot afford to pay (what they normally would)in child support, hire a lawyer?? I could see that picture now… “well you see judge, I couldn’t afford child support because I had to hire a lawyer in order to ask you to consider lowering my child support.” Yeah, that’s gonna work
“If you can’t afford an attorney call your local court clerk and ask what steps you need to take to file for a modification as a Pro Se litigant.”
Dip Shifty, if you had read the entire post you would have had the answer to your question.
You appear to be right! I stand corrected!
Hi Cathy. I am in end stages of a michigan uncontested divorce. We have hit one snag.
My ex is dragging his feet on submitting a debt settlement.
Our divorce is approved and on reserve until it is signed and submitted by both of us.
No equity to be divided just the debt we accumulated.
What can I do to get him moving on this? His attorney wont return my calls of inquiry, and when I ask him, I get a landslide of vulgarity from him and his little girlfriend. (I save those by the way!)
Court orders maybe? How do they work?
One question that comes to mind is in filing this brief, woudl it be better to negotiate an agreement first with the ex spouse, or do you file and then say that you need to modify.
I’d hate to telescope the move should there be any preemptive jockeying, but it strikes me as a which came first, the chicken or the egg.
Do I talk to my ex-spouse first to see if she’s a willing participant?
Hi Greg,I feel it is always better to try and negotiate with an ex.
If your ex is willing to modify the child support great! Be sure you either have an attorney draw up an agreement or file one yourself so that it can become, “court ordered.”
It must be signed by a judge to be legally binding.
Cathy, I have been wrestling with getting a modification in child support for over a year now. Since the case is being handled out of state (I live in Mi, the order is out of VA) I was able to do a telephonic court appearance only to have the judge tell me I needed to appear in court. I don’t have the money to appear in court in VA, not to mention hiring an attorney. Now I am faced with a default ruling to not lower my support, yet I remain unemployed and am barely making ends meet. I have 2 other children I am supporting, yet the courts (both MI and VA) insist I pay 770 dollars a month. I even had to hire an attorney (cost 500 dollars, so had to sell my car) to appear for a “Show Cause” here in MI. Looks like I am being forced into being a “dead-beat-dad” simply because the economy isn’t very good. I think my next move will have to be out of this state and into another, while my wife and children remain in MI.
This has even messed up my ability to get employment at one point, because there is an outstanding amount owed. I have been working with the state of VA for months and months, to no avail. I was told I had to Prove my unemployment, and when I did they garnished my unemployment checks, only to tell me I hadn’t provided enough information to prove I was unemployed.
Its bad enough that I am scraping by to feed my kids, meanwhile the mother of my first child is living in the lap of luxury, and I am legally being threatened with debtors jail.
Sorry, an addendum to my post.
According to the Uniform Interstate Child Support Act (? I might have that mixed up) I was supposed to be able to request a reduction/modification for child support, however, the Chief justice presiding over the case has the ultimate say. So in short, even though I “should” have the right to present my case telephonically, that right was ignored.
As far as “Pro Se litigant” that applies more so to a divorce proceeding. Child support hearings are more so like a “small claims court” except its the only one that you can be held in contempt and face jail time.
As a pro se litigant in the worst state to get divorced in (Mass requires child support to age 23!) I asked my ex for a reduction. She said no. I have been unemployed for some time and have been able to borrow money to satisfy my obligation but that ability is going to end soon.
I have prepared a pro se motion that I am getting ready to file. My question is: Under MA guidelines I might be able to get it reduced to as little as $80/month or even 0 based on the state’s website. How do I approach her attorney with an offer to settle at some lower amount? I currently pay $1,800/month and half her college expenses. Thanks.
PS Anyone wishing to see my proposed motion, send me an email to namesiwm @get-noticed dot com (reverse the first half of the email name and make dot com .com)
Well, it’s obvious that Cathy Meyer doesn’t follow up on these comments, much like she doesn’t bother to follow up on the legal facts regarding this particular situation.
I have to wonder how many poor souls have tried to follow this advise only to find its useless.
Thanks Cathy Meyer, your help has been useless.
Joe, we have laws to protect the legal rights of those going through a divorce. Then we have judges who I’m afraid, have the right to use their own discretion when interpretting those laws.
You had the bad luck of getting a judge who evidently likes to see all parties to the issue at hand in his court.
If I were you I would file a complaint against the judge with the judiciary committee in Virginia.
Also, when you were told that you had not provided enough information to prove you were unemployed did you ask them specifically what information they needed?
Your first mistake was not realizing that your case was complicated…an interstate child support issue. Not hiring an attorney to represent and be an advocate for you in court was imperative.
Most cases whether it is simple divorce or modification of child support or custody can be done pro se. When you are crossing state lines it becomes more complicated.
More than likely the judge viewed you as a man who lacked enough concern for the proceedings to travel out of state. He probably developed a skewed opinion of you due to the fact that you weren’t showing up in his courtroom and that is what he based his decision on.
It isn’t fair but when it comes to any aspect of Family Law, fair and right does not always get what is expected.
“How do I approach her attorney with an offer to settle at some lower amount? I currently pay $1,800/month and half her college expenses.”
Michael, you need to write her attorney a letter. When you do make sure you send a copy of the letter to the court clerk with a request that it be included in your divorce file.
Writing her attorney and offering to negotiate a modification of child support will show the courts you were willing to try and solve the issue before going to court.
Most judges like this. Their courts are overflowing and anyone willing to try and negotiate an issue to keep in out of court is looked upon favorably.
If your ex and her attorney aren’t willing to negotiate a downward modification they can then explain to the judge why they weren’t.
You say you are currently paying $1800 a month plus half of college expenses. Is your child still living at home with her mother or is she living on campus?
If she is living on campus why are you still required to pay her mother anything other than dorm expenses and other college related expenses?
When you go to court you are going to need to show that, for one thing, your daughter will be able to continue her education after a modification.
You need to do research on what kind of grants and scholarships are available to her. Whether or not she would be able to do a work/study program.
You need to think of every issue the ex’s attorney will use to argue against a modification and have a response proving him/her wrong.
I would be happy to take a look at your motion if you want me to, send it to divorcesupport.guide@about.com
“I have to wonder how many poor souls have tried to follow this advise only to find its useless.”
Jo, I hear quite often from people who have followed the advice and found it very helpful. I’ve not yet had any communication with someone who found it useless and I’m sure if that were the case I would have heard.
Yes, Hiring an Attorney would have been a good thing, But I’ve no money for such a thing! Yes, if in fact I could hire an attorney perhaps I could have been able to pay my child support. This is quite backwards.
Great so on top of this I have to fight to prove my innocence. That is rich. Sorry to sound pretty frustrated here but I am, and the child support laws should be changed. Period.
The above post missed my paste which was
..file a complaint against the judge with the judiciary committee in Virginia….
Great File a complaint against them/him. Guilty and have to prove innocence. This is annoying and not on one level but all levels of humanity.
1. Got unemployed
2. Could NOT get VA DSCE to review the case correctly.
3. Get told by a judge I HAVE to show there to prove my case
4. Have no legal recourse except to hire a lawyer, which since this is a civil matter one cannot be appointed to me from the state.
Ok, now, how do you expect me to tell my current family (2 twin daughters age 9yrs) why there is no food on the table…
Sorry but this situation is not as simple as it is put in this article. If a Non-Custodial parent falls behind for whatever reason, simply putting in a change of circumstances (at least in VA) is not that simple. Since being laid off, and immediately contacting the state of VA’s DCSE (to which is both belittling and humiliating if you have ever talked to their call center) I was told to fill out xyz-form, and fax it in. Low and behold, it didn’t do anything. 6 months later they started taking out money from my unemployment checks and wanted me to prove I was unemployed. End result “Review Denied”. 6 months later I again wrote to them stating that after being out of work for almost a year I was pleading for a reduction. Again, “Prove you are not working!”, ok fine how do I PROVE I AM NOT MAKING ANYTHING! I go ahead and go through the motions, hoping (and preying) that some way there will be justice. Nope, nadda. As read above, I have to go there to prove the case, and since it is a civil matter, I cannot get a public attorney, yet I can be placed in jail for contempt.
Well on a good note, I have been talking to the Custodial parent and even she has agreed this has gone to far.
Child Support is not fair, at least not when handled by the courts and the cronies.
Oh and BTW, Filing a complaint against the judge with the judiciary committee in Virginia, where in the heck do you do that? I am not in the state of VA, so I have been on the phone for the last 1.5 hours trying to figure out where I can do this. Are you spewing out things you haven’t any knowledge of? My gosh. I am done. I’m putting up a website (with what little money I have left) to put a stop to this madness. The unfortunate
Below is a link to the website and also the address and phone number.
http://www.courts.state.va.us/jirc/main.htm
100 N 9th St # 661
Richmond, VA 23219
(804) 786-6636
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Just an FYI, if you have acomplaint you must send it in writing. So your day in court can not be heard in court. You have to prove it in writing.
The child support system as it is currently managed is the closest thing to slavery that remains in America. The constitution provides that should not be any debtors’ prison yet although IRS has catagorized child support as a debt failure to pay will land a man in jail. It is outrageous.
Rodney,
I would be interested in knowing why you feel that anyone who fails to pay their child support should not go to jail. Be it man or woman.
Your children are not a debt, they are a responsibility, a moral obligation and I’m not sure why anyone who willingly shirks that responsibility doesn’t need to go to jail.
hi cathy!!!
my husband was laid off in february like so many others. he has child support for 2 kids and cannot afford to pay it. i am afraid that they will take his unemployment check to pay for the backed up support. we have tried to work out an agreement with the mother of his children but since their relationship ended in bad terms she’s not willing to work anything out. he has a relationship with only one of the kids. someone suggested to request for 50/50 custody but how likely is it that he gets it if he would only request it for 1 of the kids? would that look bad in front of the judge? can we also apply for modification of support for the other child? we live in california and any help would be greatly appreciated.
I can speak on rodneys behalf about jail! what $ you gonna get while the person is incarcerated? They need a orderd program 1st! then incarceration if still no go. the reduction thing a big joke. ive been laid off since nov 07 and still fighting for a reduction. even with unemployments document judge paul gluchowski is still finding me willingly un-under employed. it isnt like my support for 1 child is $500.00 a month either its $839.00 and builds up fast with interest every month. even with no employment i made some sort of payment now with my 900.00 a month job that i feel lucky to have found and cant afford the 839.00 they are going for suspension of license. im ready to bear arms and dare them to come get me!!!!!!!!!!! i am sending complaint about the judge but us the people need to put a stop to them taking advantage of us who try! if you follow the $ trail i bet its a giant scandal . they collect % off of whats paid. they claim us as deadbeat and get the arrears with interest and i bet tax $ to boot! then the jails collect tax $ for us being in there! courts get the $ for the licenses and other bs! then the dmv gets more $ for reinstatements. they are taking advantage of us and hiding behind helping the kids!!!!!!! fact!!!!!!! what good is it going to do for my daughter to take my license? i have to live on 300- 400 a month with food, insurance, gas , other necessities and it costs 500 for my 4 year old ? cmmon people get real. im not trying to evade but im not one for suicide either ill get them 1st
lol
my ex is taking me to court pro se to reduce child support because his unemployment is down to 400 a month (after over a year)yet I am unemployed with NO unemployment (real estate agents do not get anything when they don’t sell) and am in school full time now living off of my federal school loans with my kids. My ex has a rich lifestyle, married to a wealthy woman who owns a home, he owns his parent’s home, and they have a vacation home which they just got home from in the islands. Any input?
OKAY I AM ALREADY PAYING CHILD SUPPORT AND OUT OF NO WHERE MY EX WANTS MORE MONEY AND I DON’T AGREE TO DO IT,CAN THEY SUSPEND MY LICENSE LEGALLY
this message is for joe….did u get that website up and running? I am going through a situation nearly identical to yours and i am at the end of my rope hitting a brick wall. hoping you had some advice.
SERIOUSLY.. Hi i’m getting lad off and want my child support to be deducted but im going ot spend the money on hiring a lawyer….and taking more money from my kids..is this lady real! If I cant afford to pay as much for my kids I cant afford a lawyer. Its not that I want to take fromt hem I would love to give them N E thing in the owrld and as much as I can. But I wont take the money and hire a lawyer, id rather give them that money.. Is there a way to not hire a lawyer. I just dnt want to not be able to pay the full amount at a point in time, and get backchold support and be in trouble for something i honestly cant help! I cant just go to court or make a court date and prove my income it’s obious the money is not there, or as much I wont be able to pay my bills and will probally be eating bread and butter everyday.. It;s entirely way to much!
If you can’t afford an attorney call your local court clerk and ask what steps you need to take to file for a modification as a Pro Se litigant.
Jeremy, if you had read the entire post you would have had your answer to the issue of not being able to afford an attorney.
Read again and pay close attention to the last sentence.
I am never appossed to child support so long as the Judge basis it actually on the income you are making. The problem is most Judges and one in particular in Virginia Beach tries to take things like Military disability, your GI bill payments that are for school, even what the Veterans Administration is paying for your school and basically whatever he thinks you are capable of making just to get your child support up to an amount that it used to be even though you do not have that job. Heck the IRS doesn’t even do that. What is wrong with Judges going strickly on actual income, they should be made only to go by what the IRS says is income. Problem now is you can not get Judges to go back and recalculate that mess up that they caused in the first place.
I am just waiting for this judge to abide by the laws that we have to.
Hi Cathy, I’m just another Father trying to understand the system of Modifying Child Support….so far, SCARY. I have gone the route of doing this on my own, notably like many others who just can’t afford to retain a lawyer. So, in about a week and half I have a Court appearance slotted, yet while I did receive my Court Order to appear the envelope also included a court order for Mediation. That was surprising enough to receive that notice, that I didn’t ask for mediation…but, I was more surprised to see that attached to the Appearance notice was a post-it-note that read “You Must Go To Mediation Before your Final Hearing”…so I called the Mediation Clerk to see what this was about and was told that they received the notice after the Date of my Hearing for Child-Modification, so there was No way to appoint a time before my Hearing….So, am I completely wasting my time by appearing at the Child-Modification hearing? I know I have to appear, but will this mean that the Judge will tell me to come back? I’m not sure why this would be happening in this order and I live 2000 miles away from the city in which this is taken place.
I pay child support through a wage garnishment at my new work, been doing this for about 3 months. Prior to this job I was unemployed for several months and got behind in child support, however the feds took my $4000 tax return to go towards child support yet i have no idea where it actually went because as of yesterday they went into my bank account and took all that i had, $500. They say i am still behind $2600, yet i am trying to make up for it by paying every two weeks through my wage garnishement, now they are taking everything i have. soon to be penniless and homeless. I need advice and help. I just dont understand how they can take the money from my bank when i am making good faith efforts and paying every two weeks. Also, i have no paperwork on where the $4000 tax return money went. So lost and frustrated. always paid my child support till i got laid off. Please help.
Question:
In 2006 I agreed with my ex wife for her to have physical custody of our two daughters 14 and 15 now. I forgave her $30K of back child support that she did not pay while the girls were with me. We also agreed for $700 / month child support. I have not defaulted since. Now she wants more money or double the amount. Can we reopen the agreemtn and show the judge the context of the arrangement?
Thanks for any help,
Cathy,
My current boyfriend is in this situation. He was laid off from January until July and was unable to make his $1,000/month child support payments. He has gotten a new job that does not pay nearly as much as he used to make and is paying $500 a month per the advise of his ex wife’s attorney. His ex and his family will not let him see his daughter because he is now so far behind and “catching up” on payments.
I am worried that without him filing for a modification and listening to the advice of this lawyer he may be putting himself in more trouble. He cannot afford a lawyer right now and is trying to do this the “civil way” but I do not trust his ex and her family to do anything civil at all.
How late is too late to file a modification? Can he go back and file for modification on the amount he owed from January to July or has he missed his chance?
hi cathy
How do you go about modifying child support when both parties are agreeing? My husband pays child support and can no longer afford to pay and his ex wife has agreed to reducing or terminating all toghether but we are not sure how to do this. Please help us. Is there a paper we can both signed and have noterized?
Im moving to south Korea and filing for citizenship because of my worthless ex who has been living off welfare and child’s support for the last 10 years and now she wants more. Meanwhile im working two jobs on of which is a soldier in the US Army and living out of my car, This is whats wrong with out country it enables people like her to get over on the system. Bye USA.
I have more of a question than a comment. My ex made a request in the state of VA for a reduction and it was denied. However, I have gotten notice of an upcoming court date (continuance) to hear the case again for decrease. Im confused because per the judge who ruled in our case, the NCP can request a appeal but all arrearages have to be paid in full, and I have yet to receive full back pay. I called to inquire but it seems as though no one is on the same page and I keep getting the run-around. Meanwhile, the letter also states that the NCP has hired an attorney and I assume retaining an attorney has afforded him a “continuance” in a case that has already been heard/ ruled on. What’s really going on?
My ex-husband has filed for a child support modification and after he filed he recently got laid off, if I agree in court to lower his child support while being laid off will I be able to have it raised back up again when he returns to work? My child has lots of health issues and I don’t ask him to pay half of the medical like he is supposed to but I will have to ask him to pay it to help me if they reduce the child supports current order.
My baby mama crazy, she won’t let me see my son and I lost my job. I am not able to make my child support payments, so she won’t let me see my child until I pay her. So a friend of mine told me about the child support tricks book and I downloaded it and in only 2 days I was able to file all the necessary paperwork on my own to get visitation of my son and I did a child support modification.
Now she is required to let me see my son. You can buy the book here http://www.childsupportricks.com
We live in Missouri, my husband pays for 2 kids in the state of Virginia. We need to get it reduced because the older one turned 18 in December and is no longer living in the home. My husband lost his job in February of 2010 but he got a loan from his parents to keep the payments going, so we’re not behind. We just want to have it reduced to what it should be because of the child no longer being in the home and we have absolutely NO WAY of traveling there. We were told that when we get the papers summoning to court that my husband can write the judge a letter and request a telephonic hearing. From what I’ve heard, they’re not too keen on this, I don’t know why. What can we do??
We are in the State of Missouri have filed a motion to modify with the DCSE and they finally after 8 months have come back and said that my husband’s child support should be lower. Of course his ex doesn’t agree and says she is getting an attorney. My husband’s income has been cute in half over the past 2 years due to the economy. He makes his payments but mainly because we borrow from my mother in order to keep him current. Do we have to get an attorney now, since his ex doesn’t agree to lower his payments, or does what the DCSE stand. Help as we are drowning in time!
Susan, you definitely need to speak to an attorney about the matter.
Sorry but mine is a question…I live in VA & have been ordered to pay almost $400 per month for a child I don’t even see. I make about $2,000 gross & she makes a little over $1,000 (from what she’s showed the Child Support Division). I can’t even afford to pay my rent & keep my household bills in order due to this ridiculous amount that I’ve been ordered to pay but I’m being abused by the system because she has/chooses to keep a low paying job. I’m currently exploring my options to see what I can do to have my support amount reduced to something reasonable considering I have my daughter that lives w/ me whom I take care of. Does anyone have any good suggestions that may help me get this mess straightened out (aside from get a 2nd job which already tried)???
Jason, four hundred a month sounds about right. Whether you see the child or not you are still responsible for a providing for a portion of the child’s needs.
Since you don’t see the child that means the mother is responsible for 100% of the child’s care. That probably puts her in a position of not being able to find a job that pays more.
Could it be that she is working part-time because she can’t afford the daycare expenses if she worked full-time? And, if she worked full-time the court could very well order you to pay a portion of those daycare expenses.
Who is paying for health care insurance for the child? Who pays for out of pocket expenses when the child is sick? In most cases a non-custodial parent is ordered to pay a portion of those expenses on top of monthly child support.
I think you should consider yourself lucky if all you have to do is pay the $400 a month and not that plus the other expenses associated with raising a child.
I savour, result in I found just what I was taking a look for. You’ve ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye
My soon to be ex is in arrears in child support. He purposely took a seasonal layoff from hisn job, only about 3-4 weeks. he just informed me that he applied for modification ,and will not be paying support, or what he owes. is this legal? isn’t support based on annual income? not a few weeks? he asked to be laid off for a few weeks. What can I do? I have 3 kids, and am working as much as I can.
This is to the guy above who said something about getting his drivers license pulled for not paying child support. It’s not going to happen. That in it’s self is stupid. Any judge with half a brain is not going to pull your license. How would you get to work? Here is the main thing yo have to do. You have to show you are trying. Lets say you can’t afford no more than 20 bucks a week, Pay the 20. Pay it like clock work. All in all you will make youself look good and her look bad because you are trying and all she is doing is fussing. You have to use your head.
I have a question, my ex and I have been legally separated, divorced officially since 2007. We have a CS order in place, which at the time it was drawn up, I wasnt working and he wasnt making all that much ($54,000 a year). He now makes a lot more, including consistent OT and i am working myself full time. I remarried a year ago to a man who pays his ex child support and my ex has since had another child with his girlfriend. Up until 3 years ago (when he began dating his gf) he was living at home with mommy and daddy, and now he lives pretty much with her in her house (that her ex pays the mortgage on). I would like a modification in CS, COL and inflation (clothes, food, gas, etc). What are my chances of them considering my new husband’s income, or his child with the gf? He doesnt pay rent or gas or electric in either of the places he lives, hes had two new cars in the last 3 years, etc. Ive asked him for a little more each week to help out with the expenses, but he cries poverty to me. If my daughter (who is 11) asks him for a pair of sneakers or pants, he tells her to ask me because he gives me all the money to do that. In the next breath he complains to my girl about ALL the driving he has to do and that he works all this overtime so she can go to college… one word… ugh! Thanks!!
From my point of view the system is very messed up and inflexible. All it knows is a formula and dismisses every other details including, but not limited to time from divorce, current life style of both parties, remarriages, children from subsequent marriage. Also, unless non-custodial parent loses his job or has severe pay reduction (things no one in a right mind wants), he has close to 0% chance of reducing his child support obligations.
I’ve been divorced for over 4 years now and paying about $1400 a month in child support. Tried to have a healthy relationship with my daughter, now 14, but failed due to severe alienation from my ex-wife and her mother. I’ve remarried and have a son with my wife who has very limited income. We live in apartment in Boston suburbs; pay $1400 a month for it and barely surviving.
My ex, on the other hand lives with her boyfriend in one of the best Boston regions in apartment for around $2500 a month, affords regular vacations and in general lives a luxurious life.
I would love to reduce my child support obligations, since it would be a fair thing to do in my particular situation, but again, as non-custodial parent (in a right mind) I have close to 0% chance of success.
I advocate for Family Law modifications!
My son has to pay child support for 2 daughters which he gladly does. Unfortunately he lost his job a second time in five years due to the economy. He just went to Court in Fla and requested a modification even though on unemployment the DOR takes 40% of it automatically for child support. His only purpose in requesting the modification was to keep froom having the arrearage skyrocket during his period of unemployment. The DOR rep.accompanied his ex-wife to the hearing and was very nasty. When my son said he has no money to live on with or without the child support deduction, she told him he better try not to be unemployed too long. The judge wasn’t much better, saying he had filed the wrong form, even though the Website clearly stated this was the form used for requesting a temporary modification. However, the last judge that heard this case on a different matter, offered to hear a modificationwithout any paperwork being filed! My son told her no at that time because he was so close to having his arrearage caught up, he didn’t want to modify anything then. There’s something wrong with a system when one judge will hear something even without the proper forms, because she simply believes that’s the right thing to do, and another hides behind the excuse proper forms! The system is definitely broken. They are all supportive of the mother which is terribly unfair. Not every father is a deadbeat trying to get out of support and he shouldn’t be treated as such. I’m debating now whether we should file for a modification based on the fact that he is unemployed and 40% of unemployment is going to child support. She will get $136.50 per week from his unemployment, when his actual payment is only $185.32 per week. Is it even worth it to reduce it for purposes of the arrearage or should we leave it alone for now? We definitely need some guidance.