Or allow yourself to believe that your children don't need you in their lives. Don't ever get to the point that seeing your children is more painful than not seeing them. If you are a non-custodial parent and are dealing with such pain then suck it up. The long-term consequences and negative impact of not having their parent in their lives outweighs the emotional pain you feel.
There are adversarial attorneys who will take your last dime and help you use the system to get back at an ex. The need for revenge can be costly and the only one to pay, in the end will be you.
Negotiation and mediation are about settling the business end of the marriage. Put your emotions aside, take care of the business that needs to be taken care of and then deal with...post continued
This is all sound advice. There are, however, exceptions to any rule. My husband’s alienated son came back to him only after my husband stopped forcing visitation. He believes that trying to get his son to visit, while his ex was trying to prevent visits, was actually contributing to the fight. While I would never advocate that a targeted parent stop reaching out to a child, I think there are situations that call for backing off to allow a child to choose for him/herself when to have contact with a parent.
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I am sure that my ex tells people that I have alienated our children from him. In truth he never took time to build a relationship with the kids when he was still living in our home. He never talked to them about our divorce and never told them that he was concerned about the pain his leaving caused them.
The first holiday at home without him my youngest child said she thought it would be strange without her dad but really it was just like always. So I am going forward with my family intact. I will not look at it as broken just because he is someplace else.