When going through the divorce process I was quite naive. I was inexperienced in not only the legal issues surrounding divorce I also had very high expectations of how my ex would behave once we had negotiated our divorce settlement.
I left court that day feeling I had been fair to him by not requesting anything from him that would leave him burdened financially. I remember talking to a friend that afternoon and discussing the court order. The friend looked at me and said, "that is nothing more than a promise on a piece of paper."
I thought his response was rather jaded so I paid little attention. After-all, my ex had been good to the children and I while he had us, I had no reason to believe he would be anything but decent once the divorce was final. It wasn't long before he gave me reason to believe that our final decree of divorce was nothing to him but "a promise on a piece of paper."
As it turns out, my ex was not good at keeping his promises...court ordered or not. He defied every aspect of our divorce agreement except for child support and he played fast and loose with that. He sent child support every month, some months it would come on the 4th of the month, others it would come on the 15th of the month.
He liked to slow leak the child support check. It was always late during the months when the children had birthdays, and during December I didn't start looking for the check until at least the fifteenth. Typical passive aggressive behavior by someone who no longer wanted to be there but was hell bent on punishing the one he left behind.
I could deal with him playing games with the child support, it was the defying of court orders I didn't appreciate nor could I comprehend. The guy spent more on attorney fees attempting to get out of doing what he had agreed to do than he would have if he had just followed the court order. That is behavior that is beyond comprehension!
I know I'm not the only person who has dealt with an irrational ex who believes divorce court orders don't apply to them. Over the years I've learned how to handle my situation from others who shared their story with me. We learn from experience, both our own and that of others.
Have you had a similar situation since your divorce? Is your ex defying a court order or have you been in and out of court attempting to get your ex to follow a court order? If so, Share Your Story so that others may learn from your experience.