How well you recover after discovering your spouse's affair depends on how emotionally resilient you are. If you have the ability to quickly adjust to and snap back after disappointment you are one of the lucky ones. It is folks like you who learn lessons during times of misfortune...you are the person who is able to, "make lemonade our lemons."
Personality traits you possess:
1. You are solution focused. You focus on finding solutions to problems instead of becoming obsessed with the problem.
2. You are optimistic and confident. You don't sit around and wait for others to solve your problems, you take the initiative.
3. You set boundaries and enforce them. You know the rewards of distancing yourself from hurtful people, environments and situations.
4. You have a strong sense of autonomy. Who you are and your value as a person is not defined by the behaviors of others.
5. You don't view yourself as a victim. You are able to acknowledge your own contribution to disappointing situations, take responsibility and not blame, blame, blame.
6. You are empathetic. You are willing to view a situation from the perspective of others. Doing so helps you understand not only your feelings but the feelings of the person who hurts you.
7. You don't resist change. You are able to take what life gives you and make the best of it instead of expecting life suit your needs. You've learned to let go of a need to control every situation.
We've all heard stories of couples who were able to rebuild their marriage after infidelity. Stories of how much better the marriage became after the infidelity. Or, maybe you've met someone who divorced due to infidelity and is now happy, secure and moving forward without anger and resentment.
The same is possible for anyone who has lived with the pain of infidelity. It takes actively practicing behaviors and thoughts that promote resilience.