1. People & Relationships
Cathy Meyer

How NOT To Marry A Cheater

By March 25, 2012

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The old saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" may not apply to everyone one but if you are in a relationship with someone who has cheated in the past it could be a warning sign of things to come if you should marry.

As Vicki Larson asks in a recent Huffington Post article, "Once a cheater, always a cheater? Who knows? The bigger question is, do you risk it?"

And that is the question you have to ask yourself when thinking about marrying someone with a history of cheating. Do you risk it? Will you be marrying someone who will cheat on you given his/her past relationship behavior? Bottom line, the only sure fire way to protect a future marriage from infidelity is to not marry someone with a history of infidelity.

Comments
March 30, 2012 at 10:31 am
(1) Jan Stevens says:

I find this post very interesting because although I don’t necessarily agree with it, I don’t disagree either. I don’t believe that every person who cheats will continually do so in all his or her future relationships, but then again it could happen. I guess what I’m saying is that when you find yourself in a situation like this, it is best to base your decision on the strength of your relationship with your partner rather than his or her past relationships.

April 2, 2012 at 5:30 pm
(2) samson says:

interesting topic. In my case I married with the conviction not to cheat, although I cheated while dating. My “ex” wasn’t a cheater during dating, but did during our marriage. Not sure there is a general rule here, but to the spouse beware…..

April 2, 2012 at 7:43 pm
(3) Anonymous says:

I married a serial cheater/philanderer. I did not want to get married but he told me that he was settled down. We were in our 60′s. It was his third marriage (2 divorces) and my second (widow). After a couple of years he started acting distant and the arguing started as the trust started to deteriorate. Red flags started to appear but I did not find any infidelity until we were 4 yrs into the marriage and then I found out he started cheating. He was almost 71 yrs. old. You know cheating goes together with lying. He is a player from way back. He did not change even when he told me he was a changed man before I met him. Our divorce was final a month ago. Now he is on a dating website and contacting various woman who probably think that they are the only one he is interested in. If anyone is interested in finding out about this man, please leave a comment and I will discuss further. This happened in Largo, Fl.

April 3, 2012 at 12:42 am
(4) rimatanta says:

This post sounds interesting ,I agree that a cheater will stay a cheater because its something in his genic and dont try to believe someone like that………..

April 3, 2012 at 9:14 am
(5) Cody says:

I am living proof of how much risk marrying a cheater really is when my now ex-wife told me as we were dating that she had cheated on her previous husband I didnt take it to serious jsut thought of it as something that happened no big deal ( wrong) we were only married for 9 months when she did it to me. The price I was to pay was a pain so deep that nobody will understand it unless they were to evperience it for themselves. I really beleive that if you find out you are dating a cheater run for your life because that is what you are risking and a price not worth giving to anyone that will not charish it.

April 4, 2012 at 4:08 am
(6) Gift says:

Its quite unfortunate that in most cases, one partner will discover that the other is a Cheater when you have moved quite a distance and probably in marriage. The pain is undescribebable, l once was to married to a cheater and we divorced, recently l decided to date again but eeish l fall again in the hands of another cheater.

April 4, 2012 at 7:15 pm
(7) The Lucky One says:

My ex was a cheater soon after our start. We were teens so I ‘for gave’. Thirty -seven years later we divorced when I showed him the ” I need you…I don’t get it at home” ads. He remarried shortly there after (to one he’d cheated with). Three years later now: he’s moved out several times, filed for divorce, moved back in, had his cell phone dumped in the toilet all because of his cheating. Me? I’m the Lucky One. I am smiling all the way to the ‘Long Term Alimony Bank’.

April 9, 2012 at 10:00 am
(8) C-K says:

It is my personal opinion that if he cheated on you before the marriage, then you should turn and run in the other direction. I made the mistake of overlooking his one indiscretion before we got married, then we married. Well now I’ve been married to him for 33 years, and in year 28 he cheated on me. I found out the hard way, it broke my heart, and because I could not afford to live along I had to make the terrible decision to stay in our home with him, even though I think the marriage is over. He told me he was sorry, and that it would never happen again. He went in to counseling, but never tells me what he talks about. He refuses to tell me anything about who he had his affair with. I have no idea if it was a romantic affair,or if he was with a hooker. Suffice it to say, there is no sex between us, and for all intent and purpose the marriage is over. I stay because I don’t have alot of money, and I don’t have anyone to assist me. Do I believe him? Absolutely not, and I don’t believe anything else he has to say, but I need a place to live, and divorce is extremely expensive. Every day is painful for me, and I would never wish this on another woman. If he is a cheater-DO NOT MARRY HIM!

April 11, 2012 at 4:27 am
(9) Lee says:

If I’d know my husband was a womanizing cheater, I would have never married him, but 20 years into the relationship, I find myself crying over all those times he had probably figured out which lie I would believe. Well, here I am.

April 24, 2012 at 1:24 am
(10) wonder says:

What if both are cheaters in their respective relationship? Should they marry each other? My best friend cheated on her then boyfriend with a married man less than two years ago and now they are getting married. I always suspected the affair, but didn’t know how to confront her. I feel like I have failed as a friend for not being able to offer guidance to help her move in the right direction.

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