1. People & Relationships
Cathy Meyer

When Should You go to Divorce Court?

By November 14, 2012

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I encourage readers to do what they can to stay out of divorce court. No one wants a judge, a third party who doesn't know you, your children or what is in your best interest to decide how marital assets are split or custody is decided.

There are times when divorce court is unavoidable though. The following are examples of situations where you may have no other recourse but court.

  • Regardless of your best attempts you and your spouse are unable to come to settlement agreement. If your ex is angry or suffers from an emotional or personality disorder they probably won't agree to anything, even if it is something that benefits them. If that is the case leaving it up to a family court judge may be your only option.
  • After the divorce is final your "circumstances" may change. If you were ordered to pay a certain amount of child support and lose your job you will need to petition the court for a downward modification in the ordered amount you pay. Whether it is child support, spousal support or any other financial obligation you have due to divorce court order, if your financial situation changes you have to get a new order before you can lower those payments.
  • If you have an ex who is not paying child support, spousal support or other ordered financial obligations you will need to file a petition for contempt in divorce court. If you find yourself in this situation you should consider requesting the payments are taken directly from your ex's salary or wages and deposited in your bank account. This is one way of making sure an ex meets those financial obligations.
November 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
(1) Tina says:

Where do I begin… My husbands ex owns her own restaurant, she pockets her cash earnings and only claims to make 40k a year. She goes on lavish vacations to Brazil, Mexico and Argentina at least once every 2 months. My husband is paying 1200 per month for his daughter, he is in the military so you know we don’t make much. She has him paying half for school and extracurricular activities. He took her back to court to modify the payments, we have 3 children and one on the way. The judge said no and ordered him to pay for her lawyer. He is his own legal representation since we cannot afford it. The ex tells him outside the court room that she is lying about her income and is going to use his money for vacations. We are struggling, and she is banking.. The case is in Illinois, what can we do?

November 24, 2012 at 5:45 pm
(2) tony says:

Tina, your husband’s situation got really complicated after his remarriage. Wish to describe here my situation. I’ve been thinking about my marriage a lot for a longer time already. Yet, I had always been against solving problems in the court and against divorce at all. However, I have changed with time and I’ve recently read on another portal an article entitled “The Inevitable Divorce”, which I found much relevant for my case. So I think now much about what will happen, and if should I do something about it. Already before I was thinking that division of our common property would ease our tensions, but I do not know should I go on with this and propose wife division of property (with or without divorce), just wait and see, or maybe ask a more experienced person (a lawyer) for help. It can be a problem for me because I am much in lack of money. In my case wife earns much more than me, which is continuously making her dissatisfied with me, although I have to live more or less only with what I earn. In addition I had to resign from sex with her years ago. It also happened that after two years ago wife moved with daughter, who is now a student, into the house after her parents, I remained alone in the previous family flat that had been bought exclusively with wife’s money. Further on she covers part of current costs of use of this flat, which makes my current situation bearable, but in exchange I must hear from time to time that this is her flat. Also I noticed that another person is registered at this address, which astonished me. Now I wonder when this person may appear in this flat as my cohabitant. Can she do this to me? I dream about having own dwelling, if only a small studio flat. But I am afraid to disturb wife with my requests for explanations or propositions. Need peace. I feel very helpless and do not really know what to do. I wonder if anybody there heard about similar situation. Should I go to Divorce Court?

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