1. People & Relationships
Cathy Meyer

Where Does Domestic Abuse Start?

By February 1, 2013

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According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 3 in 10 women and 1 in 10 men say they have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. And, these estimates are low because not everyone who has been a victim of domestic abuse reports the problem to the police.

How do you protect yourself and keep from becoming a statistic? You watch for red flags at the beginning of a relationship. Abusers don't become abusive after 5 or 25 years of marriage. There are signs, from the beginning that are indicative of whether or not a person has an abusive personality.

Recently my son started dating a woman who constantly texted him. He received texts, morning, noon and night. She texted him at work, while he was out with friends, in the middle of the night and showed no respect for his time away from her.

She wanted to know where he was, who he was with, what he was doing and why he wasn't with her. She wanted a serious, committed relationship...KNOW. And they had only gone out three times!

Can you say, "Control freak?" Domestic abuse is about power and control. How do you know if you are dating someone who wants to exert power and control over you? They want to get serious right out of the gate. It can be flattering to meet someone who appears to be so taken with you that they want to spend every free moment with you. They shower you with attention and appear to need you desperately.

Their motivation isn't flattery though, they want to own you, to wrap you up and take control of you. It is this kind of person who, three years down the road will be screaming, yelling and cursing at you or, even worse, beating you on a regular basis.

If you find yourself involved with a man or woman who just can't seem to get enough of you, step back and ask yourself if this is a relationship that is going to be good for you in the long-term.

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