If you have been through divorce then you are familiar with the rules and procedures that govern the legal process of divorce. Divorce is a civil action, and every state has rules of civil procedure that are supposed to be followed during the divorce process.
What you don't hear about -- but have probably fallen victim to -- are the unwritten rules. These are the rules that define how judges and lawyers conduct themselves with each other. These unwritten rules can have more to do with the outcome of a divorce case than the written rules.
It's my opinion that when it comes to the family court system, the only interests served are those of divorce lawyers and family court Judges.
When Lawyers and Judges Cover For Each Other
Most judges and lawyers will not report each other for misconduct or violations of judicial ethics. Judges especially can get away with bad behavior, because lawyers don't want to get on a judge's bad side. Lawyers know they will go before the judge again, and staying chummy with the judge can be more important than their client getting a high standard of care in a lot of situations.
I have a close friend who took her ex-spouse back to court seven times in an attempt to collect child support. She has a court order that he pay a certain amount per month and her attorney requested the judge sign an income withholding order so that her ex spouse's wages could be garnished.
It has been two years since her last court appearance and she is still waiting for the judge to sign the income withholding order and still living with her ex slow leaking child support payments to her at his whim.
What has her attorney done? Nothing, he is afraid of "pissing off the judge." And, according to her attorney pissed off judges take out their anger on attorneys and their clients. I witnessed this happen during my own divorce and have heard story after story from men and women who were held hostage by attorneys who were afraid of damaging their relationship with a judge.
Attorneys who refused to file motions or petitions that would get the court involved and a client's problem solved out of fear of "pissing off the judge."
In my friends case there are legal avenues open to her attorney but he refuses to take action because staying on the judge's good side is more important than his fiduciary duty to his client.
Therein lies one of the major problems with the Family Court System. How can the system hold an ex spouse accountable when lawyers and judges can't or won't hold themselves and each other accountable?
This is only the tip of the iceberg about how problematic and corrupt the family court system is in the U.S. Children are being forced to go on visitations with biological parents who are in prisons – even young children of 3 years old – and children are being forced into “visitations” with biological “parents” who are drug addicts, alcoholics, sociopaths, mentally disordered, repeat criminals, etc. and NOBODY is checking up on them to make sure they are safe, properly cared for, etc. The supposed “parent” (all based ONLY on a biological connection to the child) ie they had a good time one night and a child was conceived …Not based on character, proper training in child care and good judgment, responsibility, stability, …. they are simply PRESUMED FIT as a “parent” and vulnerable young children who cannot fend for themselves are placed in their complete care. See the Susan Powell case in Utah – the mother “disappeared” – the “father” claimed she just ran off and left her two young sons – The court ordered the two young sons to go on”visitations” with their biological “father” and he then had the opportunity to murder them before he killed himself. Why wasn’t the court held accountable for sending these young vulnerable children to their deaths?
See the Katie Tagle story…a young mother who desperately tried to get a family court judge in California in 2010 (San Bernadino county) to protect her child when her ex-boyfriend and the biological “father” of her child threatened to kill her 9 month old infant son. The judge ordered that the ex-boyfriend get full custody of the 9 month old child because the mother wanted to protect her child from being murdered by the ex-boyfriend biological “father”. The court transcript shows what happened in the courtroom including the judge’s unprofessional and horrible conduct in accusing her of lying when she produced text messages as evidence. The ex-boyfriend proceeded to murder the 9 month old infant. Why wasn’t this judge charged with the murder? Why was he allowed to give full custody of the infant to a biological “father” who was threatening to kill him? Why was there nothing about accountability of a system that is causing the deaths and abuse of children in this country? Why was there nothing but a candlelight vigil in honor of the dead infant?
This is now 2013 – We need to look at our definition of the word “Father” – it is not simply about a biological connection to a child – it is about who is willing and able to be responsible, stable, healthy for the child to be around, good judgment, putting the child’s best interest above their own, etc. These things are not taken into account at all when the court makes custody and visitation orders. (“presumed” fitness rules) . Also, there is a burgeoning industry for “fathers” filing custody cases against mothers – the court’s dirty little secret is that the more custody a “father” can get, the less child support he has to pay to the mother (his ex) . Also, it is a way to harass and abuse the mother legally using the child as a tool to manipulate, coerce and abuse her. Threatening a woman with the loss of her children – her children who are the most important thing in the world to her? This is the most abusive horrific situation possible. Let’s be honest here…. Why hasn’t this been recognized on a wide – scale basis ? An industry that thrives on the use of children as a tool to coerce and abuse mothers? An industry that doesn’t recognize the incredibly important role that a woman plays in her children’s life? That threatens instead to separate the children from her and not even ensure their safety or wellbeing? in addition, probably bankrupt her with exorbitant attorney fees and court costs?
The children do not benefit from being placed in dangerous, unhealthy situations, they are simply being used as the tool and the money that is being spent on fueling this legal “industry” is not going to the children at all. Is it any wonder then that we have so many children in crisis at this time? People need to wake up and see what is happening in their own country, their legal system, to the vulnerable children who are the future and get together to stop an industry that is causing dysfunction, destruction, where civil liberties are being violated on a daily basis and judges don’t have any accountability for what they do or decide.
Amazing! You hit the nail on the head! I know from my own professional experience how corrupt the courts are generally. But what the article and Jennifer’s comments describe is the exact situation with my sister and her son. Her ex, the teen’s father threatened and promised to kill her many times. The ex was abusive to her, when the child was an infant and she had to flee with the baby. The ex tried to push her down the stairs, while the baby was in the bathtub. Now a judge gave the ex sole custody of the child. The judge said: “Your wife is in the poverty level.” But the judge then ordered her to pay child support, and the court is garnishing her disability check. Our mother had to pick up the slack, so thus the ex indirectly has his hand in the grandmother’s bank account. My sister could not afford her rent, because she no longer was receiving child support. She had to move in with our mother. The ex used some of our siblings to turn her son against her, and quoted them to the judge. My sister’s spirit and heart are broken. She poured herself out for her son, who is now receiving many honors as he graduates from high school, including advanced placement. His excelling in school is due to my sister’s keen interest in his education. If what Jennifer says is true, why are these judges treating mothers like this? What has happened/is happening in our society? And what are the seemingly nefarious political influences?
How come feminazi ‘Jennifer’ has five first comments. All Mothers are Women. Not all Women are Mothers. Fueling the Gender Wars will make Marriage obsolete. Well it already is. My Son know that Marriage is hazardous to a Man’s health.