I received an email recently from a reader. He was highly upset because his wife had restraining orders against him. They got into an altercation and instead of walking away he fought back. According to him he is now under restraining orders due to something “she did.”
The true reason he is under a restraining order is that he chose to engage in a physical confrontation with his wife. She attacked him, he grabbed her arms and shoved her away and she ran for the phone.
If this reader had walked away and done the sensible thing…called the police, his wife would now be suffering the consequences, not him. It happens over and over again, people handle a bad situation in the way they think is best and end up regretting their actions or blaming their actions on someone else.
When it comes to marital problems and dealing with a spouse you think may file charges, it is better to play it safe than take the risk of ending up with legal problems. The consequences of engaging in conflict are far reaching.
Think about it, if you have a restraining order against you, it can affect your job if you work for a company that has a morals clause in your contract. It can make visiting your children difficult even to the point of having to experience supervised visitation.
If you have a vindictive spouse or ex-spouse below are a few tips to help you avoid a restraining order:
If you have children be sure that pick-ups and drop offs are in a public place. If your ex refuses to meet you in a public place, drop your children off at home but do not enter the home. Stay outside where there are neighbors to witness what occurs should your ex become hostile.
Judges don’t ignore requests for restraining orders. Domestic abuse is too widespread for a judge to not take any request for a restraining order seriously. If you fear a vindictive spouse will purposefully push your buttons in the hopes of causing legal problems for you please protect yourself by taking the above advice.
This is especially so for men since more restraining orders are issued against men than women. The courts are supposed to be unbiased but in reality, a judge is going to be more likely to believe a man capable of abuse than a woman.
