The new blended family faces many challenges in the beginning. Blending two families and building strong familial bonds requires a lot of effort on the part of all involved. In the beginning, the family members have no shared family history or shared ways of doing things. This can be especially hard for children who are trying to adjust to a new stepmother and stepbrothers or sisters.
Below are a few tips for building strong bonds with each family member:
- Support one another by being willing to listen and validate each other’s feelings.
- If the children are mourning the loss of their old family until, acknowledge that loss and allow the child to mourn.
- Come together as the biological parent and stepparent on such issues as discipline and shared family activities.
- Encourage each member of the blended family to develop positive, nourishing relationships.
- Always encourage and nurture each child’s relationship with the other parent.
- Surround yourself with support. Reach out to grandparents, support groups or community based programs to help the blended family adjust.
Know When To Seek Help For Your Child:
Not every child will have a positive reaction to a parent remarrying. It is important to seek professional help if your child exhibits any of the follow:
- Shows signs of trouble but refuses to openly discuss what is bothering him/her.
- Shows signs of being torn between his/her parents.
- Expresses feelings of being excluded from the new blended family.
- Appears uncomfortable when communicating with or relating to any member of the new blended family.
- Shows open resentment toward his/her stepparent.
- Frequently cries or withdraws from the new blended family.
- Grades start to fall or there are behavioral problems at school.
- Shows no interest in activities or friends who once brought the child pleasure.
Most blended families, given time and the opportunity to develop their own traditions and ways of doing things manage to forum new, loving relationships. They are able to provide emotional stability, lasting relationships for both the adults and children.
