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How to Handle an Adversarial Divorce Lawyer


Have you hired a divorce lawyer who is only making the conflict between you and your spouse worse? Are you are wondering how you can reduce the conflict and feel more in control of the situation?

Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: That is up to the individual

Here's How:

  1. Don't Allow Your Anger to Influence Your Divorce Lawyer:

    Some divorce lawyers learn that the best way to protect their client is to fight for them and not in a way that promotes an end to conflict. Most divorce warfare is created by the divorce lawyer's adversarial nature and we, as clients, play a role in it because it is what we expect.

    There are times we let anger win out over reason and this often happens in divorce situations. When dealing with your attorney table any anger you have over the divorce. Be reasonable instead of resentful and your attorney will follow your lead.

  2. Take a Collaborative Approach:

    Explain to your divorce lawyer that you wish to take a collaborative approach to the divorce process. Tell him/her that you want to try to come to a decision on the major issues with your spouse. Your divorce lawyer works for you and should be willing to follow your wishes. If you get resistance you could consider hiring a new lawyer.

  3. Be More Pro-Active:

    Ask questions of your divorce lawyer, be very inquisitive about communication between the courts and your lawyer. Ask for all copies of anything filed with the courts before they are filed.

    If there is any inflammatory language being used in documents sent to the courts or the opposing counsel you will be able to have it removed. Being an active part of the divorce process will help the steps you go through during divorce move along at a faster rate.

  4. You are Responsible for Your Divorce Lawyer:

    You are responsible for your lawyers's actions. It's in everyone's best interest that you make sure you divorce lawyer knows that his or her job is to promote relationships instead of destroy them.

    Don't be intimidated by his / her law degree. They know the legalities of the situation but you know yourself and your spouse. Insist that the attorney follows your instructions as far as keeping the conflict to minimum.

  5. If you do, the legal process will go more swifty and issues such as child custody, visitation and the division of marital assets can be resolved with little or no conflict.

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