The main appeal of an online affair would be the ease in which a person can engage in the affair. Secondly, there is the belief by some that if you aren’t actually coming into contact with the person, the it can’t be classified as infidelity.. That takes away the guilt that keeps many people from engaging in a physical affair. Basically they can justify their actions by telling themselves it isn’t an affair and, to top that off, it’s as easy as going to the frig for a cold soda or, maybe a “Hot Tamale.”
It’s natural to want to feel, “alive.” We want excitement in our lives and miss it when our marriage or life in general is not fulfilling us. An online affair is a way of getting more out of life without putting forth much effort and, once again, without the guilt of becoming involved in a physical affair. Instead of rethinking the aspects of our lives that are causing dissatisfaction, some take the easy way out and go for the quick fix.
For a few dollars a month a person can have, unlimited access to chat rooms and sites set up to cater to individuals looking for “cyber love.” Problems arise when reality intrudes into the virtual world of online affairs. Although an online affair seldom results in a physical affair, they are very much sexual in nature. Online affairs result in the same negative consequences that any type infidelity does. There is the need for secrecy, lots of fantasy is involved, the excitement is addictive and there is the need for self-denial. Online affairs are treated the same way a physical affair would be and that is where the danger lies. There may not be physical touch but the results can be as damaging to a marriage as a physical affair. Below are some statistics about online affairs from a DivorceMag survey.
- Only 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery.
- 80% think it's OK to talk with a stranger identified as the opposite sex. 75% thinks it's OK to visit an adult site.
- One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs.
- Approximately 70% of time on-line is spent in chat rooms or sending e-mail; of these interactions, the vast majority are romantic in nature.
- Because of the anonymity, affordability, and accessibility of Internet sexual resources, the computer can accelerate the transition from "at risk" to "addicted," as well as the progression of sex addiction in those with a history of prior sexual compulsivity.
- 8-10 percent of Internet users become hooked on cyber sex.
- Spouses who get hooked on Internet porn are a growing complaint among spouses filing for divorce, according to a survey of 350 divorce attorneys. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," said lawyer J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, which conducted the study.
- 57% of people have used the Internet to flirt.
- 38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation and 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.
