In the introduction of Father and Child Reunion, Dr. Warren Farrell, says, "In almost thirty years of researching men’s and women’s issues, never has the research for a book made me more emotional."
I’ve recently decided to create a category on the Divorce Support site dedicated to Equal Parenting, a subject that can’t be covered without first reading Father and Child Reunion. Like Dr. Farrell, nothing makes me more emotional than this subject. Because of the emotions I feel I may, at times lose my objectivity. For this I apologize.
When reading Dr. Farrell I am, at times of a different opinion. Some of what he says I stand behind 100 percent. Some of what he says, I see from a different perspective and can’t get behind at all. My plan is to write articles as I read the book. Sharing my opinion on what I read, hopefully opening a dialogue with others and gaining a better understanding of the subject of this book.
Below are quotes from the book and my thoughts:
- "If we want fathers equally involved, we won’t be talking about women’s reproductive rights and men’s reproductive responsibilities, we’ll be speaking equally about what I call both sexes (Speaking more about rights than responsibilities is the sign of being not an adult but an adolescent, someone who wants the right to the car while you pay for the gas, insurance and repairs.)"
- As a young woman, I was taught that is was my responsibility to not become pregnant unless I wanted to become pregnant. I’ve taught this same thing to my sons. Accidents happen and even though one tries to be responsible pregnancies happen.
- Once a woman becomes pregnant, she becomes the decision maker. A man has no legal or moral rights. He gave up those rights when he failed to be responsible enough to keep a woman from becoming pregnant.
- Man and woman have the same responsibility as far as taking responsibility and preventing an unwanted pregnancy. What some men fail to understand is that the woman may have other plans. A man doesn’t earn any rights over what a woman chooses to do with her body if he has failed to be responsible enough to make sure a pregnancy does not occur.
- The sign of being an adult is to take not only be responsible but to also take precautions. Precautions that will keep a man from having to pay child support to a child he didn’t want. Or, even worse, facing the fact that a woman has chosen to abort a child he does want.
- Dr. Farrell is correct, we need to put more emphasis on responsibility but, we can’t negate a woman’s reproductive rights just because someone failed to be responsible. This is an issue in which men and women will always be in conflict and exactly why I stress to my sons that they are ultimately responsible for whether or not they are one day faced with an unwanted pregnancy.