Is this your first Holiday Season divorced and single? Maybe it is your 3rd or 4th and you are stuck wondering how you are going to survive the Holidays, once again. This time of year may bring up memories of Holidays past, the family gatherings and celebrating as an intact family.
You may feel out of place if married couples planning big family celebrations surround you. More than likely you are lonely when your children are with their ex. Is the only plan you have for the Holiday to sit home alone and cry in your eggnog?
If so, don’t despair. I’ve a few suggestions that will lift your spirits, get you motivated and have you looking forward to a Happy Holiday Season.
- Think Icicles Instead of Isolation:
The first step toward celebrating instead of dreading the Holiday is to get out and participate. Go through party invitations and accept all invitations that will mean being surrounded by positive, upbeat, energetic friends.
Decline all invitations from friends who are downers, can’t find blessings no matter what is happening in their lives. If they bring you down, you don’t want them around during the Holidays.
If you don’t get party invitations, plan a Holiday party of your own. What better way to get your mind off being single during the Holidays than planning a party and inviting all those fun, upbeat friends?
- Think Ahead:
Instead of spending weeks dreading the Holiday Season, get started thinking about spending the season in a positive way. Replace any negative Holiday thoughts with positive Holiday thoughts.
Don’t wait until the last minute to iron out Holiday details with your ex. At least six weeks or a month in advance know the Holiday visitation schedule. Once that is settled make plans for what to do on days you will be away from the children. Waiting until the last minute may mean sitting at home, watching It’s a Wonderful Life on your own.
Instead, buy tickets to a play you’ve wanted to see. Take advantage of that midnight service at church. Have a gathering in your home of other single parents. Drink spirits, exchange gifts and spread some Holiday Cheer.
- Cultivate Gratitude:
You may be single and you may have to go out of your way to make sure you enjoy the season but don’t forget there are always blessings to count. Be mindful of your thought processes. Don’t allow negative thinking to take over and replace thoughts of all that is positive in your life.
The Holidays can be lonely but, you have your health, maybe you have beautiful children, you have friends who will welcome you into their homes. We all, no matter what we are going through have a life filled with positives. If we choose to focus on the positive aspects of our life, the rest falls into place. Your thinking about your situation will dictate whether or not your Holiday is filled with Joy and Peace or sadness and loneliness.
- Embrace Your Singleness:
Some view being single as a curse. I like to think of it as an opportunity. There is no one to answer to, no one to take into consideration but yourself and your children. If you aren’t able to surround yourself with people and celebrations spend your time making plans.
You have a New Year staring you in the face. Where do you want to be this time next year? Why not spend any alone time you have setting goals and making plans for getting what you want out of the coming year?
Whatever you do during the Holiday remember, it is up to you whether you find Joy, Peace and Happiness. All you have to do is go looking for it. It is there waiting for all of us. Not only during the Holidays but all year long.