My ex had no outside interest. His life revolved around family and work. If he wasn’t at work, every time I turned around I bumped into him. I encouraged him to take up golf, go our for drinks with his buddies…anything that would give him to opportunity to get away from work and family stress. We spent too much time together which in the end played a role in the demise of our marriage.
There was no sense of space or privacy in my marriage. No balance between work, family and fun. It was as if we gave up being individuals and became one and I’m not someone who believes that marriage means sacrificing yourself.
I believe that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. My ex would have been much more attractive to me if he had, had interests outside work and family. As it was I felt smothered and that I had married a dependent instead of an independent man.
It is scientifically proven that we have more interest in our spouse if we spend time apart. Birth rates increase after war veterans return home. Primates celebrate the return of the hunter to the group after a long absence.
I’m not suggesting you send your spouse off to war but shopping with girlfriends or golfing with the guys makes coming together at the end of the day much more interesting than if you have spent the entire day together.
Spending time apart promotes an appreciation of your marriage and each other. It means not losing yourself, your hobbies and your friends and that, in turn, leads to happier people who come together and form happy marriages.