Hi, my name is Debbie Nigro and I'm a "Player Mom," and you?
I didn't realize I was a “Player Mom” until my daughter who was 14 at the time, coined the term for me. She was trying to put her finger on what it was that differentiated me from all those “other mothers.” We were discussing boys and I wanted clarification on her use of the word “player” (as if I didn’t know). A “player” was what the adolescent set called the feisty version of the opposite sex.
I’m a “Player Mom”?, I asked. “What makes you say that?” “Because,” she said, “You’re not home all the time baking and stuff.” “Oh,” I said, “You must mean for the THREE HOURS ONCE A WEEK I’M NOT WAITING ON YOU HAND AND FOOT!”
Listen honey! Once in a while a mommy’s gotta get out. Trust me, it makes me a better mother.
So what’s a “Player Mom?”
Simply, a divorced mother who wants to feel like a girl again and HAVE FUN! Look, given the choice I’d rather be boppin’ to the Beastie Boys than bakin’ Babka any day. Okay, so shoot me. I still like to go out and pretend I’m a babe once in awhile. (I assure you it’s getting tougher). Most nights, I can’t stay awake past 10 p.m. And that’s not the only challenge.
See a “Player Mom” is usually very, very busy with six million other things to do, so she must be ready when the opportunity for fun strikes.
The “Player Mom” ‘Window of Opportunity’ is very narrow and highly coveted, and it takes a lot of maneuvering to pull off.
So where is this “Window of Opportunity”?
It varies. It could be right after work, every other weekend, on a business trip, when your kid(s) has a sleepover or when grandma’s available to babysit. Be aware, this window doesn’t stay open long, a couple of hours at best and can slam shut at any minute.
Things that could slam shut the “Window Of Opportunity” include:
- The weather (usually a flash flood);
- Cash flow (The ATM says no funds available);
- The babysitter factor (last minute cancellation);
- Mood (it sounded like a better idea this morning);
- The bloat factor (nothing fits); or sheer exhaustion from trying to work it all out (screw it, I’m going to bed).
Who qualifies as a “Player Mom”? Single, divorced or unhappily married mothers who aspire to the “possibilities,” the flirting, the fantasies, the FUN.
How can you detect a “Player Mom”? Tough call. She doesn’t necessarily look like a “Player Mom” at other times of the day. Chances are she’s the same woman plucking out grey hairs in her rearview mirror at the stop light.
A typical “Player Mom” outfit? Let’s just say she’s wearing some SERIOUS undergarments.
The “Player Mom” purse? It has 4,000 pounds of makeup in it and a cell phone ready to kill the fun at any moment!
“Player Mom” must-haves! Coffee to stay awake for the cocktail, and a co-conspirator to go out with.
Where do “Player Moms” go? This is a really big problem. Since freedom is so rare, few “Player Moms” have any clue as to where the heck to go.
It definitely can’t be someplace where you look like “somebody’s mother.” Fun places do exist, but short-term memory loss keeps most “Player Moms” from remembering where they are. Often “Player Moms” end up at the diner where they’re usually overdressed.
“Player Mom” rules! Follow the same rules you give your kids about talking to strangers unless of course, he’s really good-looking or really rich. If you stay local, remember people can recognize your license plate. Oh, and don’t waste your time with anyone who wouldn’t appreciate what you just went through to freakin’ get there. Good luck girls.
I’m rooting for you!