1. People & Relationships

I'm Divorced But Still Want To Be Married. How Do I Get Over Feeling This Way?

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Question: I'm Divorced But Still Want To Be Married. How Do I Get Over Feeling This Way?
Answer:

You get over an unwanted divorce by accepting divorce as a reality. Most people who go through a divorce they didn’t want have a hard time adjusting to the idea of being single again and losing the emotional connection to the one they loved. They still want to be married but reality doesn’t go out of it’s way to accommodate a person’s wishes.

You have to face the facts. Not accepting the reality of your divorce keeps you stuck and unable to live a productive life. You can’t live in the present and plan for the future if your head and heart are still in the past.

There are four steps you can take that will aid you in accepting something you didn’t want as a reality.

  • Acceptance: Life is just as it should be. Make the best out of any situation. You can’t change reality by wishing your divorce had never happened. Accepting the reality of your situation and living fully within that reality facilitates letting go of the past and moving ahead to the future. A future you carve out for yourself based on what you want, not based on where you used to be.

  • Responsibility: Own your mistakes and make peace with your past. To move forward and let go of the past you should also work through any feelings of guilt or anger that are left from the divorce. If you owe your ex and apology, express it. If you are harboring feelings of anger then learn ways to work through the anger in a constructive manner.

  • Mindfulness: Stay open to positive thoughts about everything in your life and welcome in “good” energy! Negative thoughts have a way of creeping into our heads uninvited. The good thing about negative thoughts is that they come to pass, not to stay. Negative thoughts about your situation can’t harm you unless you allow them to do harm. Allow negative thoughts to pass through your brain unnoticed, don’t attach meaning to them. Quickly usher them on to make room for positive thoughts that spur you into actions that benefit you and the life you want to live.

  • Opportunity: An opportunity is a chance to fulfill your dreams, your purpose in life, become who you want to be and do what you want to do. Sometimes opportunity is invited in, sometimes it is forced upon us. As hard as it may be to accept, divorce is an opportunity. Never ignore an opportunity. This new opportunity may have come with fears and emotional pain but, those are not excuses for not taking advantage of the opportunity to fulfill dreams, find purpose and become what you want.

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