1. People & Relationships

Step-By-Step Advice For Those Thinking About Divorce

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Divorce Court

Will you be able to settle or will you end up in divorce court? The only reason a divorcing couple ends up in divorce court is because one or the other refuses to negotiate, to be flexible and come to an agreement with the other. Ninety five percent of all divorces are settled outside court. That is an encouraging statistic but it needs to be known that the other 5% are the ones that keep the Family Court System working over time.

It is that 5% that tend to go back to court repeatedly. At times over frivolous issues that could be solved if both parties would make the choice to respond to the situation in a rational manner. It has been my experience when working with clients that the underlying issue with people who are continually going back to court is the need to get even with their ex-spouse.

There is either the spouse who refuses to follow through on an agreement in an attempt to get back at their ex-spouse or the spouse who withholds child visitation in an attempt to get back at an ex-spouse. They use the Family Court System to keep from having to deal with each other and to keep from having to accept responsibility for the role they play in the ongoing conflict with their ex-spouse.

In other words, they keep a legal system backlogged because they have emotional issues that need to be dealt with. So, here is some advice from me, if your ex pushes your buttons emotionally, get thee to a therapist’s office, not an attorney’s office.

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