1. People & Relationships

Passive Aggressive Behavior

A passive aggressive rarely abuses physically but when in a relationship with this person you are a victim of very subtle and veiled abuse. The passive aggressive's behavior has been referred to as "crazy making behavior" due to it's ability to cause the victim to question their own sanity. If you are involved with a passive aggressive they will withhold what you need, engage in stonewalling and blame all the marital problems on you. On this page you will find articles and resources that will help you understand and respond to the passive aggressive spouse.

What Causes Passive Aggressive Behavior?

If you are in a relationship with a passive aggressive I’m sure you’ve asked yourself, “how did he/she get this way,” probably have asked that question numerous times. This article is an attempt to answer that question. Before moving forward though it should be understood that there is no “one size fits all” answer to the question of what causes...

What Is Passive Aggressive Behavior?

What is passive aggressive behavior? A learned behavior that keeps a person from expressing anger in a healthy manner. The passive aggressive person is an angry, spiteful person who outwardly appears friendly, kind and caring.

Passive Aggressive Behavior: A Form of Covert Abuse

Passive Aggressive behavior is a form of domestic abuse. When someone hits you or yells at you, you know that you've been abused. Passive Aggressive abuse is subtle and veiled or disguised by actions that appear to be normal, at times loving and caring. The passive aggressive person is a master at covert abuse.

Is Your Spouse Passive Aggressive?

The behaviors discussed below are behaviors you are going to consistently see in your spouse if he/she is truly passive aggressive. A basic definition of passive aggressive behavior is the use of covert coping tools in response to anger.

Is Your Passive Aggressive Husband Withholding Sex?

Denying a lover sex is a tool passive aggressive men use to punish. Since the PA can’t show overt anger they subconsciously express their anger by denying a lover affection.

Divorcing a Passive Aggressive Spouse

If you are married to a passive aggressive then you probably already have a sense of what will come once you decide to divorce a passive aggressive. You may believe that divorcing a passive aggressive will once and for all mean no longer dealing with the repercussions of his/her odd behavior.

What Kind of Woman Marries The Passive Aggressive Man?

It takes a special kind of woman to choose and marry a passive aggressive man. The woman who marries the passive aggressive man was taught in her family of origin to accept a high level of frustration for a minimal level of love and caring. When a woman marries the passive aggressive man she gets little return for all her effort.

Withholding Sex as a Form of Punishment

In the beginning, your spouse was charming and quite appealing. You had no problems with intimacy. Your spouse couldn't keep his/her hands off of you. You felt desired, cherished and loved. Before long, the atmosphere changed. Your spouse became less and less interested in sex.

What Passive Aggressive Behaviors Have You Experienced?

Is your spouse passive aggressive? Passive aggressive behavior is a form of covert abuse. When someone hits you or yells at you, you know that you've been abused. It is obvious and easily identified. Covert abuse is subtle and veiled or disguised by actions that appear to be normal, at times loving and caring.

Dismissing Feelings Through Lack of Communication

Verbal abuse, the use of words to hurt can also be accomplished by refusing to communicate. When your spouse dismisses your feelings through a lack of communication you are being verbally abused.

The Role Anger Plays In Passive Aggressive Behavior

Anger plays a role in passive aggressive behavior. The passive aggressive spouse that is driving you insane is angry and full of grief. The passive aggressive deals with anger in one of two ways. Either they have no control over their anger or they have problems expressing their anger.

Recovering From Passive Aggressive Behavior

Comments from a reader in treatment for Passive Aggressive Behavior.

Why Does the Passive Aggressive Play the Victim Role?

What is the pay-off for the passive aggressive who plays the victim? It is a ploy they use to turn the tables and make them appear to be the injured party.

Are Your Spouse’s Behaviors Ambiguous?

Are your spouse's behaviors ambiguous? If your spouse’s behaviors are ambiguous, you are constantly receiving mixed messages. More than likely you spend a great amount of time trying to figure out what was meant by certain words or actions.

Fear of Dependency And The Passive Aggressive

Some spouses have a hard time letting their partner know they have any needs at all. These spouses have a “fear of dependency.” Their fear of becoming dependent upon their spouse is so strong that it is imperative to them to remain completely dependent and self-sufficient, not ever admitting to any needs.

When Is Forgetfulness Abuse?

Is your spouse forgetful? Espcially when it comes to things that are important to you. Forgetfulness can be a form of covert abuse.

The Fear of Expressing Anger

Some people have a fear of anger and of expressing their anger. This is invariably because they come from a family where one or both of their parents or other caregivers were angry in a mean, violent way – a way that caused harm to others.

Passive Aggressive Obstructionism

Obstructionism is the deliberate obstruction of progress. The passive aggressive person obstructs progress by resisting following through with expectations in interpersonal relationships

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