Ladies-You know who you are!
Men-Know Who You Might Be Dealing With!
Dating after divorce can be a wonderful new beginning but everyone approaches it differently. Below is a list I came up with to describe various divorced gals dating styles I've observed over the years.
Ladies, you will find that you may fit in to more than one category. Some of you will even transition back and forth between categories at any given time. Let me know if I've missed any?
Gentlemen, which of these gals have you dated? Hopefully this will help you understand better who might be sitting across from you the next time too.
"DIVORCED WOMEN'S DATING STYLES"
You don't trust anyone anymore with your heart. You've been burned. You are not so quick to jump back into another relationship, but you go anyway because you think you are supposed to at least try. Your cynical vibes smell defensive and stink up the room. Wear extra perfume.
I Don't Care Daters:
You are not interested. You're energy is focused elsewhere. You need time to find out who you are. You go just because someone is very nice but you really don't care, but you don't let him know you don't care. He doesn't pick you up but you don't care, he calls you again and you go again even though you don't care.
I Just Want To Sleep With You and Not Really Talk to You Daters:
Your hormones are swinging and you're going to try and act the way you think some men act, and just use someone for sex. You want this person to treat you as if they care about you, even though you don't really care about them. You love the fact that you never expect a call, and call them when they least expect it. Woo Hoo!
You don't really want anyone to know who you are dating or where you are going. You go out of your way to find "out of the way" meeting locations and rely heavily on GPS. You are shady with family and friends who suspect you are 'seeing someone" but have no idea who. This can go on for years.
You haven't been on a date in decades. You don't know what to wear, what to say or what the rules are. You buy new lingerie but you don't know why because you have no intention of letting anyone see it yet.
You need a new man at all costs. You feel your clock ticking and think you are getting older and less attractive by the second. You can’t imagine how you will pay all the bills by yourself or handle household problems and children solo. You tolerate unsavory qualities like a twitch, if his salary is high enough. You will cancel plans with your own mother to make a date on a moments notice.
If he looks like a keeper you blow it. When you realize a guy might actually be a keeper, all your common sense goes out the window because now you actually care what he thinks. Your nerves get in the way of acting like your usual self. You experience 'fumfering' and excessive worry about your looks and words, and as a result can't remember a darn thing HE said once you get home.
You head back in time and re-date old boyfriends who are now also single. Often you track them down. They knew you when you were young and really cute and still see you that way and you them. The delusion is intoxicating and at least you know where the heck they came from.