If you’ve ever been a victim of infidelity you’ve wondered why the other man/other woman slept with your spouse. It is hard to comprehend the motivations of someone who takes something that does not belong to them. Especially something as sacred as the wife or husband of another person.
I’ve known both men and women who have engaged in affairs with married people. This article takes a look at these people and what I’ve learned about them via exchanges with them. Hopefully you will gain some insight into the kind of people who sleep with someone’s else’s spouse.
This is a very selfish person, one who wants what they want and puts no thought into the damage he/she does to those they have to harm to get what they want. A selfish person puts their needs before those of others.
If the selfish person meets a man or woman, who is married with children, they put no thought into the needs of the spouse and children of the marriage. Men and women who become involved with a selfish person are blinded by the attention and fail to realize that as with anyone else, this person is incapable of caring about them or anyone else for that matter.
- Lacks Empathy:
When a person is empathetic they are able to “walk a mile” in another person’s shoes. In other words, they have the ability to share and experience the feelings of others. If your friend’s father passes away, you feel pain for your friend. You don’t feel the same pain your friend feels but you hurt because your friend is hurting.
When someone who lacks the ability to feel empathy wants your husband or wife, they may know that their actions are hurtful but they don’t feel any reciprocal emotion or sympathy.
Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissist lack the ability to empathize with others. If your husband or wife becomes involved with someone who is unable to feel empathy, that person may be so damaged that your pain brings him or her pleasure. There are some who seek out married people for the thrill of it. Just to know that their action brings harm to others “gets them off.”
They aren’t concerned with your spouse…there is no love there. Just a desire to feed what they feel they have a right to.
- Lack of Morals:
Most of us have a code of conduct we live by. Through society, family of origin, religion and our own consciousness we define what we feel to be right and wrong behavior and do our best to live up to that definition. We don’t rob banks because we know it is morally wrong. We don’t slap small children because we know it is morally wrong.
Without morals, a person can’t feel a sense of moral responsibility. The person may have no defined sense of right and wrong. They may have defined moral beliefs that tell them that infidelity is acceptable. What they feel is morally acceptable differs greatly with what most of society feels is morally acceptable. They have the ability to feel sorry for the person they harm but don’t feel they are responsible for that person’s pain.
Lack of morals is a “get out of jail free” card. Just with a lack of empathy, this person may be a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist or someone we, in our own moral beliefs define as a “bad person.” However we define them and they define themselves, their actions can and do cause others great harm.
I know that when a spouse cheats a person’s first reaction is to blame the other man/other woman. There is that need to know as much as possible about the person your spouse became involved with and to understand what makes that person tick.
In the end though, you will come to the determination that it isn’t so much about the other person and more about the person you are married to. If you need understanding then, seek understanding.
Don’t allow your need to understand the other person keep you from dealing with the real problem at hand…the person you married and chose to cheat on you.