Collaborative Practice and Collaborative Divorce approach problem solving with the use of team work. The process of divorcing using the Collaborative approach involves the formation of a Collaborative team that, together, identifies goals, objectives, obstacles, methods and solutions. Not surprisingly, the better the Collaborative team “plays” together, the better the outcome. Since everyone is playing on the same team, the adversarial elements of divorce are not present. Divorce is not a war, it is a transition.
The Collaborative team is made up of various professionals and the parents involved in the divorce. A “Full Team” (and a full team is not always used), consists of the husband and wife, two Collaborative Attorneys, two mental heath professionals who are Collaborative Coaches, a neutral Collaborative Financial Professional and a Collaborative Child Specialist who is also a trained mental health professional. (In future articles, I will discuss the use of less than “full team” teams as well as distinguish between cooperative and Collaborative divorce.)
Collaborative practitioners understand that the parties in the divorce, the husband and wife, have complex and often very difficult issues. After all, if such problems did not exist, there would not be a divorce taking place. Thus, the professional members on the team work hard to conduct themselves in a businesslike, open, honest and respectful manner, modeling this behavior for the husband and wife and helping set the Collaborative tone and environment.
The use of a team brings to the table a variety of skills and areas of expertise to support the transitioning family and to assist them in resolving their problems respectfully and in a positive manner. Each member of the team has an area of expertise that supports the mission and goals of the Collaborative process. Below is a brief description of each member of the professional team and their function on the team.
- The Collaborative Attorneys know the law, they know the processes that must be followed in order to have the marriage legally terminated and they know how to write and file the documents that bring this about. The attorneys advise the parties about their rights, their obligations and their responsibilities under the law keeping in mind that in the Collaborative process, the divorcing parties are free to make whatever mutual decisions they wish.
- The Coaches are licensed mental health professionals (Psychologists, Social Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists). Their job is to assist the parties in recognizing their emotional triggers and obstacles to a positive outcome and to provide them with tools and skills for coping with the transition from a nuclear family to a reconstituted family.
Because emotional conflict is inevitably a part of what leads to divorce and what takes place during divorce, the Coaches work with their clients and with the divorcing couple, together, to identify the immediate here-and-now challenges to a positive outcome and to facilitate good communication between the parties.
- The Collaborative Financial Specialist is trained as a CPA, a Certified Financial Planner and/or a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Their job is to gather all the relevant financial information (assets, debts, income, etc) and evaluate how to make these resources work optimally for the best interest of all members of the family. They do not propose a financial settlement. Instead, they may provide various financial models or be able to discuss the short and long term implications of a particular financial arrangement.
- The Collaborative Child Specialist is a licensed mental health professional (Psychologist, Social Worker, Marriage and Family Therapist). This individual brings the “voice of the child” into the Collaborative Process by getting to know the child(ren), understanding their unique needs, concerns, fears and desires.
The Child Specialist does not provide a parenting plan (custody plan) for the family but, instead, assists the parents and the team in doing this with a focus on where the child’s needs are. The Child Specialist can also assist parents, along with Coaches, by providing information and education about co-parenting, child sharing, normal development and the common impact of divorce on children.
Collaborative Divorce is truly a “value added” way of ending a marriage. Not only are you in charge of the decisions and the outcome, you get the services, support and assistance of an array of professionals to assist you in this very complex and difficult transition. You don’t simply end a marriage. You transition into your new life with knowledge, skills, tools and the sense of pride that comes with behaving respectfully at a very difficult time in life.
