How many years were you married?
We were married for three years.
Did you want a divorce?
Divorce was not my choice.
Describe the break-up of your marriage.
My husband is high anxiety and worries about impending gloom and doom. He is OCD.
We were selling my house to pursue a dream of retiring to AZ. The sell was stressful, my brother given two weeks to live from cancer, looking for apartments the night he left, we were looking at a place to rent that was not available when we were to move and I frustratingly said "Why are we looking at this place? If you want to move here you go ahead!"
I didn't say I was sorry quick enough because he came home and packed his things and left me to move by myself and no where to move to.I was in shock and paralyzed with fear.
What helped you cope with your divorce?
My husband went to his attorney and sent me dissolution papers which I gave to my attorney who advised me to not sign and take this slowly and advised that I get counseling.
At first I ask my husband for us to get marital counseling. Please! Beg? He said no, "I made up my mind." Then I was angry, I would have NEVER sold my home that sat at a lake in the middle of serenity if I had known he was going to leave.
I decided on "no contact" with him as he was very COLD to me. I then got a call from him, he needed to exchange boots that I bought him. He called three times, I did not return his calls? He is OCD and the boots may be driving him to obsess.
Right now I am sitting in a room of a friend's house whom I am staying with, this room is my solace since I have no home to go to. My emotions are running high!
I did schedule counseling. My husband could not take the stress, I was sympathetic with his OCD, which is hard to live with, this illness spills over into all area's of his life and I hope someday he will seek help. He takes medication but it doesn't help.
- Lessons I've learned? Red Flags at the beginning of the relationship. Gut feelings to ask him to leave. Weird behaviors (OCD)..he not being honest about taking medications for high anxiety. I felt used during the marriage, splitting expenses down the middle although he made 3x as much money as myself.
- Part of OCD behavior is to hoard money for impending gloom and doom. Seems my husband was eager to please and said we made a good team, I made a commitment to him with God and wanted to save our marriage.