How many years were you married?
17 1/2
Did you want a divorce?
No - Never
Describe the break-up of your marriage.
I thought we were happy. Our marriage was not like in the beginning of our relationship but I figured when you are married that long, you develop a respectful slow burning love with your best friend.
About a year before he left, he started getting distant in little ways - wanted to be away coaching sports, staying up late instead of going to bed together, spending a lot of time with a mutual female friend.I just figured since he was getting close to 40, he was going through his mid-life crisis so after trying to talk to him a lot and being pushed away - I gave him space. A year later he left for our 'friend'.
What helped you cope with your divorce?
*Venting to friends at first - then seeking a therapist to help me mentally deal with this in a positive way.
*Finding new traditions - especially during birthdays and holidays.
*Finding new hobbies and started getting out to walk or exercise.
*Started taking care of myself and my needs which was different than anything I was used to.
*Tried new things and ways to enjoy life which was out of my usual comfort zone.
Lessons Learned
- Time heals everything - be as patient as you can.
- No matter what you are told - it takes two to enter a marriage and two to fail at it.
- Find a good therapist - friends are not a long term solution.
- You can do this alone and be happy but it takes time!
- Start with small things and short term goals. For me getting out of bed in the morning was a victory.
- Life will go on - you can do it positively or fight it - it is up to you.
