How many years were you married?
Sixteen years we have 3 children who are 15, 14 and 11, girl-girl and boy.
Did you want a divorce?
No of course not, but I felt my life and my kids were in risk of physical harm.
He wanted to control everything. He started out by saying that I had an affair from my country before coming to USA. He was insulting me, ignoring me and attempting to confirm that I had an affair. This wasn't true.
Describe the break-up of your marriage.
I couldn't take any more any insults in front of my children. He used to say to me that I was a b..., things were getting more aggressive and I needed someone to talk to . I found someone and he thought I had an affair with this person.
He started acting like an FBI agent, spying on my emails and cell phones. Getting my passwords, everything. Screaming at home everyday after work when my children were there.
He would hit and throw things, it was all too much. I changed bedrooms but nothing got better. My situation is worse, we are residents and I can't get a restriction order because he could lose his citizenship card approved. I told him I was going to do it but I cant.
What helped you cope with your divorce?
My kids depend of him. I have an Accounting degree but I don't have experience in the USA. Being a mom 100% of the time keeps me from being able to work.
He keeps insulting me even though we got divorced 10 months ago. My kids are in honors classes, wonderful sports players...tennis (#1) in her school, softball (4th batter), baseball (4th batter).
I need help. I am selling my house, but still he keeps coming and insulting me. He says to me if I am sleeping with the father of my lovers. It is hard to hear it, but I am here, crying. I am trying to get my masters in something. I hope GOD could open just one door to keep me here. Thanks.
Lessons Learned
- Do whatever to hold your marriage together.
- Forget and forgive.
- Evaluate the most important things in your life.
- If you are at risk of physical abuse, just get away and protect the most important things (my kids).
- Talk to the police (I can't do it), you can.
- Feel you are too important for your kids.
- Talk every day with GOD.
