Were you the victim of an unethical judge?
Judge's have "helpers" - commissioners or magistrates - who make important decisions without input from the divorcing parents, without taking time to review or hear the facts and they are biased against pro se litigants in cases where money is an issue.
What needs to change in the Family Court System?
The average person cannot afford the "justice system" and many times fathers are left out because they cannot fight for their rights. The system still favors mothers unreasonably and even if mental health issues are involved the father can't pay to prove it.
This puts children at risk staying with a less-fit parent (mother) because that's the way it's always been done and they assume the father abandons her. It is very biased and often commissioners or magistrates make decisions that are far-reaching without considering all the facts (in temporary custody especially).
It is sad that if a parent murders a child when in the custodial position she can get state-paid legal counsel to defend her actions, but if the other parent sees risks should be brought to the attention of a judge, he must have a lot of money to do this.
Custody evaluators cost $8,000 easily, just to make a recommendation to the judge. Attorney fees in these cases can easily reach $50,000. How can average or low income people afford this?
As a result the fathers often are forced to give up their children, resulting in long-term emotional damage to the child because mom says he "abandoned them" when she decided to live thousands of miles away to make it impossible for him to spend time with them.
Cost for travel and time off work is prohibitive. The system is a mess!!! If you are rich you have a better shot at being heard at least. It is easy to see why some fathers just walk away.
The emotional damage it does to them to not be able to fight their way into the lives of their children is just too much. I see increased depression and suicide as a result, besides the psychological damage to the children.
The mother can cry "abuse" even if it is a total lie and she will get attention, state-provided attorneys and the children will automatically be awarded to her because they err on the "side of safety" when in fact, leaving the child with the lying, manipulative and mentally ill mother may be anything but safe.
Lessons Learned
- Skip the money for a fancy wedding; save it for the divorce. It will cost much more.
- Don't marry anyone with unstable personality disorders. Of course it will be hard to determine this in advance.
