Did Your Ex Defy Your Divorce Court Order?
Until Feb of this year, my husband had paid absolutely nothing toward the court ordered child or spousal support ordered July of 06. He is in arrears by over $300k. He was deported from (yes, FROM) Mexico last May. He is just NOW attempting to modify since he's being garnished.
Did You Have to go Back to Court?
We had a court date recently, and another set for May 26th just on the spousal support. He has no problem with the child support at this time, because unbeknownst to me, DCSS had held a hearing in 2007, lowering the amount from $2307 to $200 per month.
What Was the Result of Your Return to Court?
The judge pro tem basically welcomed him back to the states, seemed completely uninterested in the fact that he had blown all of almost $400k or more in Mexico in less than 3 yrs while completely thumbing his nose at the court order, and dropped the spousal support from $4500 to $200 per mo.
Have You Found a Solution Other Than Court?
The stress is literally killing me. My kids and I have lived at or below poverty level since before he left for Mexico 1/06. When he was deported, I actually saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, obviously the court was going to have an issue with him defying the order for almost 5 yrs, right?
That's when I found out about the hearing and modification of child support that I'm still fighting. Don't get me wrong - I don't care about all the money. I just don't believe that a spouse should be able to get away with domestic violence (he was convicted), not have to follow court orders, AND get relief!
What Worked For You in Solving the Problem?
I haven't found a solution. The court date on the 26th is to set the spousal support amount, and to discuss the possibility of the support arrears being dropped because my husband stated that "it's a ridiculous amount". The judge at the time ordered such a large amount because he had proven over the years that he could easily make $215k per year, even if he was unemployed (because of his inheritance, he quit his job) at the time.
In my eyes, it should have been dealt with in 2006, instead of partying in Mexico till he was broke. If he'd been more apologetic or caring when he returned, I would have happily worked things out with him without going to court, regardless of my anger with him, if only for the children's sake.
Instead, I was told that I "deserved it", I don't believe the kids deserved it, even if I did.
I can't afford an attorney, so I'm preparing the trial brief myself, rather blindly, I might add. I'm trying to get an appointment with an attorney through a low cost lawyer referral program, because I'm truly terrified of doing something to screw everything up. It seems I should file Contempt charges, but I don't want to open new cans of worms that don't need to be. I used to have a great attorney, but I couldn't afford him any longer, and my husband has yet to pay the $7k in attorney's fees that he was ordered to pay.
I pray daily for a solution to this nightmare.
Advice
- If you can afford an attorney at all, GET ONE! There are so many nuances to the law, and you're dealing with judges who have life experiences and opinions that are unknown to us....the law may not be just black and white as we may see it.
- Don't trust that the person that you loved and professed to love you for years or decades is going to hold their decorum and treat you in a loving, responsible manner. Even the children may lose their value to a spouse who doesn't care any more. My son is in therapy for the abandonment he feels from his father leaving (He left 1/06 and heard nothing until he was deported).
