1. Dating & Relationships

Your suggestion is on its way!

An email with a link to:


was emailed to:

Thanks for sharing About.com with others!

Most Emailed Articles

How to Kiss Like in

Readers Respond: How Did You Learn That Your Spouse Was Cheating?

Responses: 206


She Cheated on me first

I've been married for 23 years to a woman whom spent more time away from home, while her husband raised our 4 kids. Alcohol is her biggest problem which really hurt the marriage. In April of 2009 she confessed to making out with a co-worker. This guy is currently one of my friends & at the time she did this to me I was spacious, but didn't know who he was. Of course the confession came at a time I had an affair on her in November of that same year. We have been seperated for over a year now but are still married. She now has a boyfriend for over the past 5 months, so it's only a matter of time before we divorce.

Oops, wrong text

He sent a lovey, sexy text that was intended for "her" obviously. My first reaction was a sick shock, now I am laying low, not allowing sex (I have to protect myself) and gathering evidence to hammer him.
—Guest BJdette

I Don't Trust My Wife

Two years ago my wife and I were having problems. All she wanted to do was argue with me. I went out with my friends a lot but I still tried to make time for her. A few days after our wedding she wanted to stay at a friends house. Then the next weekend she wanted to stay again. I had known that a mutual guy friend lived down the street but didn't think anything of it. Things got worse between us as she didn't talk to me, never wanted to be around me. I started putting two and two together. Finally I called the mutual friend and asked if she had tried anything or if anything had happened. He fessed up to them having sex. Later I found out all the details (something I never wanted to know in the first place) but I found out they did it right outside my friends house. When confronted she lied about it and lied about every detail. Even saying that he wore a condom. She said it only happened once but kept wanting to stay at her friends house until she got caught. Should I trust her.
—Guest Matt

Cheating Wife Destoying Our Family

When I married my wife she was pregnant by another man. I had known her for years and always loved her. After five years of marriage I found out she got to drunk after work and didn't come home. At this point we had three kids. I grilled her and she broke and told me she had sex with "some guy" in the bar parking lot. A few hours later she sat me down and told me she had also cheated with my adopted son’s father. I had not known they had any contact. She told me it happened a few times and she had taken MY son to see him and she felt he had rights to see him. Even though I was there at his birth, changed his diapers I bought and always thought of him as mine. Well a month later she was pregnant and I have raised my new daughter as my own even with my doubts. She called me daddy for the first time yesterday and today is my anniversary. I think I'm dying inside and I decided today this will be my last anniversary. Good Luck to all you dads.
—Guest jakethejackass

A Cheating Wife

I find out my wife was cheating when she had her email up and she was at work. She was sending nude pictures of herself to anther man. I printed the emails out when she said she was going to live me and get custody of are 3 year old little girl and move in with this man. Three days later she started fighting with me over dumb stuff and calling her mom telling her that I hit her. At this time we lived with my dad so I told my dad I going out to cool off so when I did she called the police. So she went to the court house and got an order of protection. The judge has dropped it two times now. So we are getting a divorce.
—Guest Anthony

I Left Immediately!

I went to use my husbands phone because mine was dead he was cheating on me with men and women and soliciting prostitutes. He is a truck driver who was also abusive to me and controlled all finances while all bills were in my name.
—Guest yoder

Gut response says Yes, but no proof

I've been married for 5 yrs with 2 kids. He's been 'absent' most of our marriage since our 3 yr old son. He repeatedly spends 1- 4 nights in a row out, during which he turns his phone off. I know when we started dating he liked another woman, I suppose he 'settled' for me. It was obvious he had feelings for her so I insisted he'd have to stop talking to her. She visits our town every 3 months or so, which coincides with his disappearances. Once after a 3 day jaunt, he announced he didn't love me on his return. I've lost jobs & left college because he's gone for days & not around to help with the kids. He locks down his computer, works 24/7 but never has any money. I have found her number on MY phone bill, he has secret emails, and has his own private social life, including drugs, excessive drinking and lots of secrets. We, his family seem superfluous. If I say a word he flips out & blames me-will NEVER admit it. We need 2 parents to make it. I have no help or family, what should I do? Not from the Divorce Support Guide: Have you considered divorcing him? That seems like the rational thing to do in my opinion.
—Guest HSLight

Questioning My Gutt Feelings!!

Well I've been married just over 3 years and with my husband for5. When we first got together he told me he would never drink or party w/out me because he would end up cheating on me. Well in July 2007 I was 8 months prego with our daughter and we went to a party, he got way to drunk and we ended up arguing and came home he grabbed the phone and went to the garage (I figured to cool off) but after hour I went to check on him and he was gone till 7 the next morning. He told me he went walking around, I never believed it! About 6 months later his best friends g/f told me he went and cheated with an ex which he denies He's always stuck to his walking around story till we got drunk for new years, he then told me 4 yrs. later he told them he cheated on me cause he was mad and wanted to sound macho And now we only have sex every few months (I'm only 25 & he's 27) he always says he's not in the mood(we used to do it 2 times a day) he won’t answer my phone calls sleeps with his cell, what am I to do?
—Guest ScaredMom Wifey

Husband Cheats and Lies

My husband and I are married for two years and have 3 kids. We would argue almost three times a week. It all started when our first baby was born. It was our custom to stay away from each other when we have our first child so we followed our custom. He most of the time never came and visit but went out partying w/ friends I was close with one of the neighbors so one Saturday evening this girl whom I was close to came and told me that she saw my husband kissing a girl at the dance floor. I was so furious of this and asked him to tell me the truth. Well first he lied and by getting more and more angry he told me the truth. He asked me to forgive him and will never do it again so I did. As we moved on w/ our lives and after arriving of the twins I heard rumors of him again. After the birth of the twins he started partying and drinking every Friday and Saturdays. Well it turned out that he slept with one girl. I kicked him out but he came crying and begging for me to forgive him. Am still w/ him
—Guest leni

Cheating for 30 years

A text came in while we were on vacation. He started lying and hasn't stopped. It is amazing how easy they the lies come to him. He has lied about the vigra he got 4 years ago. I got the pharmisy records. It is just amazing the lenths they will go to keep there secret. I got the computer log where he has been to web sites. He thinks he covered his tracks pretty well.....he has moved out and I am an having some issues. He thinks we will work it out.
—Guest Reality Check

Sex, Lies and Manipulation!

Married 27 years, 3 kids. Told me in July that he hasn't loved me for 5 yrs, and he had been having an affair while working out of state for 6 months, but home every week-end. In May, 3 months before he told me, he bought a house, (a few miles away,) took all our savings, set her up in a business, and moved her here to me and the kids! He walked out and never looked back! His girlfriend is a 5 time felon for retail theft, check theft , forgery & fraud. ex-prostitute, & scam artist, who has taken him for everything he has. She used sex, lies and manipulation to get him to "rescue" her from an "abusive husband". Found out she has never been married, was living in the motel as she was homeless, she had no money, no car and needed my husband badly to support her. His affair cost him not only his loving family, he is financially ruined, and he lost the respect of everyone who knows him. But he said at the time of telling me that he is the HAPPIEST he has ever been in his life!!

Am I Crazy for Trusting Him?

I was 8 months pregnant with his 1st born. And all of a sudden, I started suspecting something wasn't right, but I'd kept ignoring it a little. Bad idea. I kept asking him if he'd cheated on me and of course he denied it. So one day, my doctor called me, to tell me the most shocking news of my life, "You tested positive for gonorrhea." Can you believe he'd lied to me for 3 days, even after I told him that I'd had it. Then he had the nerves to blame me and told me that he'd probably got it from sitting on the toilet! I'd also found out that he cheated with two more girls later on. But of course, after all of that, we're on our 2nd baby and we're getting married in November! He's changed completely, after me leaving him for three months and I Love Him So Very Much!

Cheating Dog!

I found out my spouse was cheating he would come home between 10-2pm. He said he was at the eagles. I looked at his cell phone bill and started calling 1 number stuck out that. It was late at night and I called that number and told her if you are dating so and so he is a married man and to back off. I confronted him he denied I threw out a name and he said yes that he had slept with her. I asked why he said he was drunk and stupid. I am with him we have been together for 32 years but not sure I am going to stay with him. I don't like to sleep with dogs. He spent alot of time at the Eagles which a private club he never wanted me to join and I could not get into.
—Guest Bren

I Feel Still Feel Betrayed

My husband had cheated on me with his secretary. It happened one time and he told me. It was sneaky because she knew me. He waited 3 years to tell me and it was on the day of the death of my brother. I'm still with him and I think about this everyday and its 15 yrs later. Soooo depressing.
—Guest tami

She Cheated and Had a Child

I got married to my wife in 1997 after the birth of what I thought was our second son. I found out she was cheating because she cheated with one of my friends....she became pregnant and passed it off as my son. I was devastated and shortly after, that friend went to prison and was deported. That son is now 14 years old and blood tests did confirm he is not my biological son plus he looks just like his dad. Me and the wife worked through it....we are still married and going strong
—Guest Lionel
Explore Divorce Support
By Category
    divorcesupportDivorce SupportpeopleDating & Relationshipsaf50204738000153a1801be0af50204738000253a1801a0ahttp://divorcesupport.about.comod526F6F7424136liveCathy Meyerdivorcesupportguide37g0003AzNIP11970-01-0110/od/index.htm0526F6F741approved/od
  1. About.com
  2. Dating & Relationships
  3. Divorce Support
  4. Extra-Marital Affairs
  5. Cheating Spouse - How Did You Learn That Your Spouse Was Cheating?

©2015 About.com. All rights reserved.