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Readers Respond: How Did You Know It Was Time To Divorce?

Responses: 311


WRONG from the beginning

In 1998 I was a single paret of one child,Being ALONE got the best of me when I showed the 1st guy that came along my heart. He was living with his EX_wife and it started out as friends just spending time with each other, and turned into an all out compitition to see who he loved the most. He assured me he was only there to be with his kids and it was not about her anymore. He had divorced her 2 years prior because of an affair with another woman. About a year into this relationship (still staying with his ex) We decide to try for a baby. I miscarried the 1st child, and he went back saying it was a sign he needed to make things right with his family. He eventually came back to me. We tried again and I was pregnant. He was still going home to be with his "kids" and at my house every night until morning. We Had a beautiful baby boy after him finally movin in with me.We got married and the next day I knew I made a mistake.9 years later I am still in compitition with his Ex-wife and kid
—Guest fab318

is my marrige over

My husband never talks to me. He is earning a high salary but never gives me enough money. He eats out side. God please help me!
—Guest kd

dont feel safe

my husband tried to upset me, my children on purpose with mean things that he said. he also told me felt like shooting me, of course he said he was joking. he owns like 10 guns so i was frightened.
—Guest guest michele

Financial drain & Emotional Creepiness

In my case it was (1) my STBX's financial draining and (2) increased emotional creepiness. He started seeing someone during marriage and soon told me he was in love with the person. He told me not to divorce because he was not sure where his new romance was going. He started traveling to meet her (it was a long distance) which affected our marital finance. He became increasingly sneaky about the affair but at the same time weirdly blatant about his affair, which confused me and impeded me from having clear judgment. When his creepiness became intolerable, I filed for divorce. It was the best decision I made.
—Guest Robinhoodie

Is this how is suppose to be?

My wife & I have been married 10 years. Neither of us have ever accused each other of cheating. We have a 5yo old son which I adore and devote all of my free time to. I've always worked and paid the mortgage, car note and bills. I've personally bought every piece of clothing my son ever wore and wears. He adores me. I always try to be playful and keep the marriage interesting. I love sex with my wife so I'm always pursuing, begging, needing to make appointments and reminding her after she even at times promises but sill goes to sleep. Any small disagreement brings a hatred to her eyes that one can not help but to notice and question where it may be coming from. I basically wash my own clothes and everything one may expect a life long partner to at least help with. She's is quick to accuse me of being verbally abusive though months go by with out a single argument. Weeks with out sex. I put down all of the money necessary for a house down payment. Help her with her college papers.
—Guest Confused Dazed

cheating husband

I can't take it any more lying cheating husband. I have been marry for 5 years and the last 3 years I feel like I living in hell. I found out last year my husband was cheating on me and went on vacation with his mistress. after that I found evidence of some picture they took together at club, vacation and in her home. his mistress even provide my husband with a phone and they still keep in contact.
—Guest may

cheating,lying,drugs and drinking

after being otgether for six year. married for three years with a two year old daughter and a baby on the way. He still was addicted to porn, i caught him watching it in front of my 2 year old daughter. several texts to other women saying he wanted to see them. a coworker calling his phone at one thirty int he morning that he had been talking to. constantly lying about anything and everything and says he is sorry and he loves me everytime. a bunch of b.s. has been coming home at five and six am int he morning high when i have class and i need to to watch our daughter but he cant because he is too stoned to take care of a little girl. Im pregnant with our second child and if he hasnt stopped tryign to be a bachelor, watching porn(in front of our daughter sometimes)drinking and smoking pot every night, if he hasnt stopped and cared enough about his family by now i finally realized he wouldnt for the second child either. I have no job and a full time student, but i have to do whats best
—Guest aww

time 2 move on

i knew it was time 2 move on 2 yaers ago been married for 3 years husband cannot hold down a job does not want to keep our 2 yr old when i have errands to run lies about his whereabouts and steals my money on coke cannot stop but always promises he will has been out out numerous times i have 3 sons from a previous marriage and they do not like him always accusing me of cheating and i never have my parents of sick of his lazy behind matter if fact the entire family is i'm 35 hes 31 no communication stays cooped up in the bedroom all day wont even help clean up no car no job no money no wife and hes very selfish always for himself bye bye
—Guest guest kitta

my mother in law is crazy

my husband and i have been married for just 1 year and i already want a divorce. he is such a momma's boy and she can do no wrong in his eyes. she is always making smart and rude comments to me. she will never stop because there is never any punishment for her behavior. anytime i try to talk to my husband about it he says i am over reacting and i need to take his mothers feelings into consideration! i can't take it anymore. to add to the issues anytime his sisters are in town they wipe their feet with me and again no punishment for this. i am not a door mat and i am done with his little momma's boy attitude. he was given a choice... me or them and he actually decided to lose me and his children to be with his mother. thats when i knew i would always come second to the people who are so mean to me and that he would never do anything about it. i am going to be filing for divorce on monday. he can go be with his mom all he wants to and i just hope he realizes what he lost.
—Guest in need of help

2many yrs of stress, & very lil happines

I have been married to my husband for 6 yrs and 7mos. The situation of staying out started just a couple of months before we married but I knew hes background so I assumed it wouldnt continue after we got married but the problem continues and has gotten worst. Things that has occurred has had ?s from others. I have had to deal with many stressful situations and I am just tried. I am 27yrs old and I am married to a mand that is 38 and acts as if he has no responsibilities at all. I am handling major of everything and He stays in trouble with the law for petty thing that could be avoided. Too top things off on my end I have become a someone I thought I would never be in a marriage; someone who has become unfaithful. It is time to put this marriage to rest. We talk,or at least I do and nothing changes. He talks a good deal of how much he loves his wife but has a strange way of showing it, I am ready to let it go. And, on my part I found I still love my ex.
—Guest finally tired


I've been married for 1 year and 2 months. He rushed me to the court-house, put a cheap ring on my finger, and began to cheat on me, emotionally abuse me, control me and maniuplate me. I accpet my responsbility in this for being so stupid and gullible. I filed for a divorce, and he says he does not want it. I have him on adultery, after printing copies of emails between him and other woman, and the main girlfriend showed up at our house a month ago. I am hurt, devastated, confused and he shows no compassion and does not think he did anything wrong. I should "forgive" him and move on. I'm so weary, and hurt, but I know that I am doing the right thing. I am his 3rd wife. Go figure.
—Guest GuestD

Over so sion

My husband and me have been married less then a year. He never wants sex and when he does I wish we had not have bothered as it's such a let down. I feel ugly and not like a women at all. We both have children from first marriages and he treats my son like he is constantly not wanted. I have tried to talk but he always tells me I am over reacting. I spend many sleepless nights crying and feel it really is a problem. Also how would I get him to move when it's a rented house that I can't afford on my own.
—Guest Gymjambow

I am drowning in a sea of unhappiness

We are both in a second marriage. We have never had a chance from the get-go. My kids don't think they need to listen to him, his never did want me in the picture. We thought we could make it work, all we had to do was love them, love each other. Truth is, I don't love him. I was never "madly" in love, but it was comfortable. He has been good to mine and given them more of a father figure than their biological one has. But, all the times that there has been hurt and mistrust over our kids...all the times that he hasn't supported me, and even I have done this...they have eaten away at what love we could muster up. We have no physical relationship. That has been on its way out gradually but I am sitting here knowing the thought of having to do this repulses me. I want my life back. I was in control of my life and my kids'. I am able to support myself...I just want PEACE. I want to look to my future and think it might be happy. I have my kids...that's all I need and want.
—Guest Coffee Mama

Roller coaster is coming to a stop

When my husband accuses me of having an affair every year, accuses me of giving him an std when the dr said his painful urination was due to stress, I can try and work through this. I can't work through the filth of pornography. He masturbates in our bedroom, when I'm at work, and our kids are in the house. He visits nudie bars, calls his old girl friends, and has told our daughter he wants to move out. Oh,and both girls have been subjected to his porn habit. One typed in a word on the computer at his prompting and a woman fisting herself popped up on the screen. He visits casual sex ads and replies. He is disgusting and doesn't deserve a woman that busts her butt to pay ALL the bills because his sorry butt won't go to school- he's got it too easy. Well, not for much longer. I'm not going to live like this any more. I'm through. Life is too short to squander on someone who doesn't appreciate you. I feel used and loved by only my children and family.

I thinking i'm tried

first, I love my wife, i'm just tried of her taken my things with out telling me or use my stuff it sound like brother and sister fighting but, i have to ask her too use her things.Second, her kids they are beatuiful but she baby them they are to old treats them like kids like one crash my car her real father don't wana help me fix it and her kid too . to me they both just as bad as the real father. right now I don't know what to do and she all ways talk bad about me
—Guest Mo
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