Readers Respond: Is Sexual Addiction an Excuse for Cheating?

Have you noticed lately how folks seem unable to take responsibility for bad behavior? We seem to have become a society that uses emotional illness as an excuse. For example, Tiger Woods cheats on his wife and goes into rehab for sexual addiction. The question is, is he a sex addict or does he lack character?

What are your thoughts? We've all heard the news about Tiger Woods and Jesse James cheating. And, we've all heard about sexual addiction. Is it a handy excuse or a true emotional illness?

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Sexual Addiction

Addiction to sex, drugs or alcohol is sometimes so severe that it makes it impossible for the addicted individual to maintain a marital relationship. No spouse is required to stay in a marriage that is shaped by addiction of any type. I lived for 25 years with a man who was emotionally very superficial. Masturbation was his most consistent addictive behavior often 2 or 3 times a day. Then, also online porn, serial affairs and telephone sex (yes people really do that!). He refused to conceal his behavior from our children and eventually started watching online kiddie porn (Russian soldiers rape school girls). I stayed too long. I should have divorced him sooner. I am lucky that he did not get any worse.

—Guest KA

Divorcing a Pedophile

My husband was arrested 4 yrs ago in a police sting for soliciting a 14 yr old girl for sex. I found out he was deeply involved in a hidden online sexual compulsion to chatting/texting etc. He convinced me to drop the divorce and begged me to give him a 2nd chance. I reluctantly did, but have recently found our that he's talking and emailing again. I refiled for divorce, but wish now I would've went thru with it the first time. I would've been married for 20 yrs, this September. My divorce will be final on August 22. He blames me for his regression by saying I could never truly forgive him and that I had one foot in and the other foot out the door the whole time.

—Guest kim

Sexual Addiction is an Excuse!

Any woman whose Significant Other regularly looks at porn on the internet without their partner's approval should beware with a capital B. The behavior online usually moves to the next level; sexual encounters with online "friends". Addiction, mid life crisis, whatever! It is a feeble excuse. It is bad behavior. Online Porn is where men see woman as a commodity. It exposes abusers with personality flaws. The adulterer doesn't care about their spouse or partner, only themselves and their own selfish wants. Infidelity is a deliberate, calculated act of immense harm. It is a personal injury of the worst kind inflicted on another human being. To trivialize it as an addiction compounds the injury.

—Guest BAD Behaviour

I Suffer From Sexual Addiction

It's very easy to judge. Two years ago I would have said some of the same things you all have thrown out here. I would never want to hurt my family or embarrass them. Sexual Addiction is real and many men are out there standing up to their addiction to defeat it without the expectation of making everything "OK". They do it because it's the right thing to do for their family and themselves. It saddens me that none of you can grasp the idea that this may be addictive behavior developed from past abuse, low self-esteem or simply - mental instability. I'm sorry if any of you have been hurt by this disorder. I am in treatment not for blame, but to genuinely fix myself and give myself and my family the loving, faithful and respectful bond it deserves and I hope they can include me within it.

—Guest HaveBeenOnBothSides

Sexual Addiction or an Excuse?

Sometimes I wonder if it is sexual addiction or if they are using that as a excuse. Now every man that cheats on his wife is a sexual addict, everybody is guilty except them. It seems like they are just the victims. If It is really a problem to them, why do they never look for help until caught???

—Guest Ineedhope

Cheating Heart

Cheating is cheating there is no other way to say it! Men are not dumb, they like to push the envelope to see what they can get away with. They should try using the space between their ears and not using the space between their legs. It would save so countless families the heartache, pain and embarrasment.

—Guest LivinTx

My husband cheating in sex rehab

This is my husband's 2nd trip to rehab, for sex addiction. On May 6, 2010, we would have been married 10 years. I went on Sunday for visiting day, before Family Week, and happened to see him with a nurse in his doorway. When I confronted him, he admitted to "having feelings" for someone there, but wouldn't elaborate. He asked me to leave, and banned me from speaking to him. I came home and had to tell my twin 8 yr-old boys that Daddy's not coming home, and that I tried my best. If SA is a real addiction, then how is it that female nurses are allowed in patients' rooms? Also, this is my husbands' 2nd trip there. Obviously, it didn't work either time!

—beachmom5

rehab is an excuse

What these guys are doing is out of choice,is cleverly caculated,properly planned,wisely excuted in hiding(until caught) and mutualy agreed upon by two willful adults so there is no way these guys need rehab.

—Guest jamleck

Addiction is no excuse!

Promiscuity of the Tiger Woods and Jesse James variety is the product of two factors: 1. Having the possibility open to them, and 2. Believing the cost they incur is only in dollars. Addiction is a poor excuse.

—LeoAverbach