In the early 1970's, Judith Wallerstein, began to study the effects of divorce on children. She studied a group of 131 children and their families who were going through the divorce process over a period of 25 years. In her book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study, published in 2000, we learn that children really aren't "resilient" and that divorce leaves children to struggle for a life-time with the residue of a decision their parents made.
According to Ms. Wallerstein, "If the truth be told, and if we are able to face it, the history of divorce in our society is replete with unwarranted assumptions that adults have made about children simply because such assumptions are congenial to adult needs and wishes. The myths that continue to guide our divorce policies and politics today stem from these direct attitudes."
In other words we have become a society of adults who put their own needs and happiness before the emotional well-being of their children and justify it all by buying into the myth that...post continued
Question:
Is My Ex-Husband Guilty of Contempt of Court?
My divorce has been final for nearly two years. I have asked on several occasions for family photos that were I was awarded in the final divorce decree. I will not seek the help of the lawyer who "represented" me since I learned too, late he did not. I'm in Michigan.
I just want my pictures of my deceased mother and the children I gave birth to. There are also photos of my great grandparents, the only photos of them in existence in my family. What must I do to get him to comply with what was agreed to in the documents? Thank you for your time.
Joanne
Answer:
Hi Joanne,
Since I'm not an attorney I can't give you legal advice. I can however tell you what I did in a situation similar to yours. If your ex is refusing to comply with the orders handed down by the court in your final decree of divorce he is clearly in contempt of court.
You do not need an attorney to file a petition for contempt with the courts, this is something you can do yourself as a...post continued
Dear Cathy,
I was truly offended by your article and description of the "Other Woman" in a marital affair. The Other Woman, truth be told is a wonderful,loving lady. She is caught in a love triangle without knowing.
I met a guy, Tommy who said he and his wife had drifted apart, which happens... they were living in separate rooms. I can't understand that, I was married for 30 years and the sparks never left, I am now widowed.
Tommy and Patricia were staying together for the financial reasons, not love, not intimacy. So, Tommy knew all the right things to do and say, and we had a world-wind romance for almost a year. Then Patricia saw a smile on his face and Tommy was happy, now she wants marriage counseling, no intimacy, but counseling.
Yes, the trophy wife so to speak, why should she have to go out into the world and work? Give up her lifestyle. Well, she knew how to put the guilt on him, and it worked. Tommy wants to give his marriage one more chance, but I should stand by him and if they can't fix what is broken, which will take many years of therapy, he will come back to me.
Wow, I felt my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on. The Other Woman, I am no glamor girl, typical legal secretary with a warm and loving Italian heart, who would do...post continued
Question:
I have two children, my son is twelve and my daughter is six. My husband and I are divorcing and my son wants to live with his father. He told me that the reason he wants to live with his Dad is that he doesn't want him to be lonely.
What is your opinion on allowing a child to live where they want after a divorce? Should I be concerned about him being separated from his sister? Am I wrong to think that my son not wanting his Dad to be lonely isn't a good reason for living with his Dad? Will separating him and his sister have a bad effect on them? Should we consult a therapist before making a final decision?
Answer:
My opinion is that parents do what is best for their children. No one understands a child's needs more than the two parents who love the child. When going through a divorce those parents have to be aware of the impact that the divorce will have on the child. As long as parents pay attention to the needs of the child and are able to communicate with each other concerning those needs they will eventually figure what is right for the child.
Have you and your ex-husband been able to talk about the child's reasons for wanting to live with his Dad? If not, you should. As parents, we are responsible for
