This first step is an emotional one. It is the step we all have to take when coming to the decision to divorce. The first thing you should ask yourself is do you really want a divorce. Next, you should make sure that you have done all you can to try to solve the problems in your marriage and salvage the relationship with your spouse.

I strongly believe that if you have children you are morally obligated to do all you can to save your marriage. Divorce is not a decision to make lightly, it is not a decision that you make when feeling overly stressed and it is not a decision to make if you are dealing with depression. My heartfelt advise to anyone thinking about divorce is to first seek couples counseling, talk to your clergy, talk to your spouse about the problems as you see them and be willing to work at saving your marriage before walking away from the marriage.

We live in a throw away society. We have become people who quit when the going gets tough. Unless you are suffering abuse or serial infidelity the commitment you made to your spouse and marriage should be the most important...post continued

Question:

I'm afraid my marriage is headed for divorce. What are some concrete things I can do now, that will help heal our problems? I want to live in domestic bliss, not constant conflict.

Answer:

"Domestic bliss" depends not only on the day - to - day practicalities of sharing responsibilities, but also on vague qualities such as trust and shared values. Experience has shown that there are some specific guidelines that can keep a marriage healthy...post continued

Most couples end up in divorce court because they wait until it is too late to get the help needed to save their marriage. Not dealing with marital problems can mean a build up of resentment; hurt feelings and can cause one spouse to emotionally detach from the other. Below are six signs that you may have waited too long to save your marriage.

1. You Often Dream About a Life Without Your Spouse:

Thinking about how much better life would be if you were divorced is common. It happens during times of marital strife to most. What is not normal is if you find yourself fantasizing about divorce often. This is a sign that you are stuck in an unpleasant situation and you are unable to find a solution. It's a for sure sign that you need to seek marital therapy before it is too late.

2. The Bad in The Marriage Outweighs The Good:

If the negative outweighs the good in your marriage, your marriage is in trouble and in need of help. If there is more trouble than paradise, you need to...post continued

Dr. Oren Hernandez, a Florida marriage counselor, developed an eight question "Divorce Test," which he claims can help determine if your marriage is on the right track. Is your marriage headed for divorce? Answer these 8 questions to find out if your spouse is right for you.

The questions:

1. Money is the number one cause of arguments in our relationship.

a. Never

b. Sometime

c. Always

2. Do you believe arguing is healthy?

a. Sometime

b. Always

c. Never

3. We have trouble communicating with each other.

a. Never

b. Sometime

c. Always

4. I'm satisfied with our sex life.

a. Always

b. Sometime

c. Never

5. I trust my spouse completely?

a. Always

b. Sometime

c. Never

6. Is taking time for myself in a marriage important?

a. Always

b. Sometime

c. Never

7. I am worried that my spouse has the potential to be unfaithful.

a. Never

b. Sometime

c. Always

8. Spirituality is important in our relationship.

a. Always

b. Sometime

c. Never

The Scoring:

• If you scored between six and eight A's - Dr. Hernandez says - your relationship is in pretty good shape.

• If you score between four and six, Dr. Hernandez says there may be something you might want to look at. And four and below? Dr. Hernandez says, definitely question your spouse.

The key to any successful relationship is communication; by now your test results should have you and your spouse talking.