I remember all the outrageous feelings I had while going through my divorce. I’d be angry one moment, crying the next and in a full blown panic attack on more than a few occasion. For every stage of my divorce there was a new emotion. I was lucky because I had friends and family who didn’t admonish me or cut me off when I needed to talk. They let me feel what I needed to feel when I needed to feel it. When you are in the middle of losing all your hopes and dreams, there are a wide variety of feelings you will experience and you need to be able to get them all out.
The friends who offered me what I needed most were the ones who could get my mind off the drama that had become my life. I had one friend who loved movies and would call at least twice a month with an invitation to catch the latest movie. One friend’s husband worked out of town during the week. Her son and my son were best friends. She would have us over at least once a week for dinner and then we would order pizza once a week and have dinner at my house.
One friend was an attorney…a divorce attorney. She would call on her way home from work and relay hilarious stories to me about divorcing clients and things that happened during her day. I would laugh during those phone calls, at times to the point of tears. I think I can honestly say that I credit her for saving my sanity. I had many friends who did many wonderful things for me but when I look back I know that the best friend I had was the one who made me laugh.
That attorney friend used to email me great lawyer jokes. I’m going to pass along a few to you in the hopes that you can forget your problems for a moment and laugh.
After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported to his client.
"Mrs. LaMay, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you."
"Fair to both?!" exploded Mrs. LaMay.
"I could have done that myself. What do you think I hired a lawyer for?"
*************************************************************Lawyer: "Now, would you please tell the Jury the truth. Why did you shoot your husband with a bow and arrow?"
Defendant: "I didn't want to wake up the children."
*************************************************************It had promised to be a sensational divorce case, with the wife accused of incredible escapades, but thus far it had all proved rather disappointing, with nothing more than a few insinuations and vague generalities tossed back and forth.
But this was the day when the wife was to take the witness stand for the first time, and the courtroom was filled to capacity. Testifying before her own lawyer, she projected an image of sweet innocence, as she told a tale of wifely fidelity and sacrifice. At long last the wife's direct testimony came to an end, and the husband's attorney was given the opportunity to cross-examine.
He first re-established her name, relationship to the plaintiff, and other details of identification. Then he picked up a paper from the table, studied it a moment, turned to her and asked, "Is it not true, Madam, that on the night of June twelfth, in a driving rainstorm, you had intimate relations with a certain circus midget on the handle bars of a careening motorcycle that passed through the center of Libertyville at speeds in excess of sixty miles per hour?"
The wife turned pale, but retained her remarkable self-control, and her voice was almost perfectly steady as she asked, "What was that date again?"