What Is Your Deal Breaker?
A member of the divorce support forum posted about the abuse she had experienced at the hands of her husband.
She was looking for support and someone to tell her that he would change. "I still love him and think that there is a future after he seeks help for his violent outbursts... verbal and physical," she said.
Physical abuse is a deal breaker for me. Hit me once and I'm gone. There are those who hang on long after I would have left the relationship. What I consider a deal breaker, someone else may consider a problem that needs to be worked through.
How about you? What is your deal breaker? Which offenses in the poll below would mean the end of your marriage? If your deal breaker is not listed in the poll please share it with us in the comments section.
Comments
Emotiomal/verbal abuse
I was able to forgive the affair, but when it resulted in a child born from it, I could no longer work with it. That’s forever, and will never pass, or can, “get over”.
The affair is a deal breaker for me. Once a cheat always cheat.
The emotional and financial stress she created made me feel my own health and survival was at risk, I felt I owed it to myself and my kids to survive and that was grounds to split. If she had an affair taht would also have been cause, but didn’t happen.
I could forgive the affair, but she still sees the scumbag. I am secretly working on the paperwork and will shock her when i ask for a divorce. Then they can do whatever they want.
What made me file was her willful financial blunders- she let the house get foreclosed, she took half our $200K and put it somewhere I wouldn’t know. But she’d already withdrawn emotionally and sexually. I think it was all about her control and her need to be “right.” ‘Twas complicated, and remains unresolved, even 16 months after it was final.
Husband claims he had sexual relations with another man, plus 35 yrs. of verbal abuse towards me, cutting me off from contact with my family and friends.
The emotional unavailability became years without sex, became not emotional presence at all after the birth of our twins (he helped but was, as me admitted to our therapist, in The Dead Zone). The punishing silences when I would dare to speak up or cross him in any way. He’s quiet so no one would believe I am being abused. Finally it escalated to constant lying, even lying to get back with me after a separation. Then I saw the hateful things he said about me in emails during those 6 months. Finally it was the realization that he is emotionally disturbed and abusive, that it will never change and, MY Deal Breaker, consistently (always) putting his needs and interests before mine to the point of ignoring a serious health problem because he wqas watching tv. I am still trying to get away from him. Emotional selfishness is so painful, and I know he hurts me deliberately.