Last week, the best-selling author and popular blogger Penelope Trunk wrote a blog post entitled, "Divorce Is Immature and Selfish. Don't Do It." Most I agreed with, some I didn't. I do believe that in most cases. divorce is an immature and selfish way of dealing with marital problems. I don't believe that there is much hope for a marriage when there is domestic abuse and drug and alcohol addiction.
And therein lies the problem with Penelope's blog about divorce. She is living in an abusive marriage and thinks she deserves it. If you've ever wondered why someone would stay in an abusive relationship I urge you to read this post written by Penelope, The Psychology of Quitting. It is disturbing and insightful.
What I found most disturbing was the second sentence, "I took the kids and went to a hotel so I could have time to think. I think I need to move into a hotel for a month." She didn't take the kids to a hotel to get them out of the stressful environment. She took them so she could have "time to think" and if you will notice she doesn't seem to do much thinking about her children.
Children who have witnessed violence are more likely to be either abusers or victims themselves. Children tend to copy the behavior of their parents. Boys can learn from their fathers to be violent to women. Girls can learn from their mothers that violence is to be expected, and something you just have to put up with. And it goes without saying that children who witness domestic violence live in fear, learn to be anxious and tend to develop depression later in life.
Maybe before Penelope tells others how negatively their divorce will impact their children she should do some "thinking" about how her inability to leave an abusive marriage is impacting her children.