"The lights are on, but you're not home, you're mind, is not your own,
Your heart sweats, your body shakes, another kiss, is what it takes.
You can't sleep, you can't eat, there's no doubt, you're in deep.
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe, another kiss, is all you need."
There isn't a better description to the intoxicating and addictive qualities of a love affair than the lyrics to Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love. If you are involved in an extra-marital affair and can't break free, you might as well face it you're "addicted to love." Or, lust that is being mistaken for love. It is that addiction that keeps you going back for more. It is that addiction that keeps your spouse confused and conflicted and wondering if the marriage will survive your irrational behavior.
My advice? Let go, give it up cold turkey and do the rational thing for yourself and your marriage.