If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention because something is probably up. Your souse may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse. Big warning sign!
A spouse involved in an affair will normally start keeping secrets, secrets that he/she once shared with you. If you are sending flowers to the other woman or buying gifts for the other man, you no longer want your spouse reading the credit card statement at the end of the month.
Is your spouse all of a sudden leaving the room when his/her cell phone rings? Have you always been privy to phone conversations but are now wondering what is being said and to whom?
Maybe your spouse used to leave his/her cell phone lying around but has now started keeping it on them at all times. A spouse who is having an affair will do this to keep the wife/husband from checking any incoming or outgoing calls. If your spouse has suddenly become protective of his/her cell phone, you have reason to wonder why.
Below are some behaviors that might indicate your spouse is having an affair:
- Your spouse comes home late from work but don’t share with you where he/she has been.
- You used to be welcome at his/her place of work but now they make excuses to keep you away.
- You climb in the car one day and find that the clove compartment is locked and your spouse refuses to allow you to unlock it.
- Your spouse is suddenly locking the bathroom door when he/she has never done this before.
- Your spouse has meetings or outings with friends and is vague about what friends and where he/she is going.
- Your spouse tells you that you are being intrusive and that he/she has a right to privacy. Privacy they never seemed to need before.
No one knows your spouse better than you do. If they have become secretive and seem to need more privacy than usual, you should be concerned. It is a definite sign that there is a problem in the marriage. Try to communicate your concerns with your spouse in a non-defensive way.
The above actions can indicate an affair but they can also be an indication of other problems. Perhaps your spouse is having problems at work he/she is not comfortable talking about. Perhaps he/she is feeling withdrawn from the relationship and doesn’t know how to communicate to you how he/she is feeling.
Don’t jump to conclusions about an affair but, if you do see any of the above behaviors in your spouse pay attention and try and get to the bottom of what is causing the behaviors.
