Working late is a great cover for a spouse who is having an affair. If your spouse suddenly has to work late after years of coming home at a certain time then I would say it is safe to be suspicious that something other than work is going on.
Work related excuses are a good way to account for large blocks of time away from home. They may tell you they are burning the midnight oil when, infact they are working between the sheets with the other man/other woman.
Below are some behaviors that should cause you to pay attention to what is going on in your marriage.
- If your spouse’s work routine changes after years of the "same old, same old." Unless he/she has a new job or a new position in their old job this is a huge red flag.
- If your spouse is suddenly working on projects that take him/her out of town for the weekend you may want to volunteer to go with him/her. If he/she isn’t open to that suggestion then more than likely they already have someone to share that work weekend with.
- If you spouse starts talking about a co-working of the opposite sex it pays to pay attention to what is being said. What can start out as an innocent relationship with a co-working can blossom into something unhealthy. You will be able to tell by what is said the direction his/her relationship with the co-worker is headed. There is no harm in letting your spouse know you are not happy that he/she has become close to a member of the opposite sex at work.
When it comes to figuring out whether your spouse is cheating all you need is your own sense of intuition. No one knows your spouse and their work habits better than you. If something changes with those habits, it doesn’t necessarily mean an affair but it does mean you need to pay attention and find out exactly what is happening and whether or not it is detrimental to your marriage.