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Top 6 Signs of Impending Divorce

Warning signs of a bad marriages.

By , About.com Guide

Most couples end up in divorce court because they wait until it is too late to get the help needed to save their marriage. Not dealing with marital problems can mean a build up of resentment; hurt feelings and can cause one spouse to emotionally detach from the other. Below are six signs that you may have waited too long to save your marriage.

1. You Often Dream About a Life Without Your Spouse

Thinking about how much better life would be if you were divorced is common. It happens during times of marital strife to most couples. What is not normal is if you find yourself fantasizing about divorce often. This is a sign that you are stuck in an unpleasant situation and you are unable to find a solution. It's a for sure sign that you need to seek marital therapy before it is too late.

If you find yourself longing for life away from your spouse I encourage you to share those feelings with your spouse. It may not be the most comfortable discussion you will have but, your spouse has a right to know that you are questioning whether or not you wish to be married.

2. The Bad in The Marriage Outweighs The Good

If the negative outweighs the good in your marriage, your marriage is in trouble and in need of help. If there is more trouble than paradise, you need to get help in learning how to confront the issues causing the problems in the marriage. Problems feed on inactivity. Not taking pro-active steps to solve marital problems will lead to other problems and it only makes sense that the bad would soon outweigh the good in your marriage.

Do yourself, your spouse and your marriage a favor and don't allow the scales tip too far to the bad before seeking help and guidance in how to deal with those negative marital issues.

3. You Keep Things to Yourself

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Do you find yourself dreading talking to your spouse about marital problems or life in general? Communication is an important way to relieve stress and build a healthier bond between couples. If you don't feel comfortable communicating with your spouse this could be a sign that you feel a lack of trust in your spouse. A marriage can't survive where there are issues of trust.

4. Your Defense Mechanisms May be Setting You Up For Trouble

If either of you are overly defensive, dismissive of the other's feelings, show contempt for the other's beliefs or engaging in stonewalling tactics you are at high risk for divorce. When conflict is avoided or negative defense mechanisms are engaged when trying to deal with conflict you are not allowing healthy conflict resolution. It can be the kiss of death for a marriage.

5. You Feel Like You are The Only One Trying to Solve Problems

Are you frustrated because every time you try to discuss marital problems your spouse pulls away from you? Maybe you have tried to express that you no longer care and you are the one distancing themselves from the marriage. It isn't uncommon for either spouse to withdraw if they feel the issues in the marriage are being avoided by the other spouse. Eventually one or the other spouse will shut down all together and no longer be interested in solving the marital problems.

6. You Rarely, if Ever Have Sex

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Maybe one of you wants sex and the other doesn't want sex. Maybe you have both stopped needing that intimate connection with each other. Whatever the reason, a marriage that lacks sexual intimacy and affection will either end up in divorce or end up being a marriage of convenience. One in which you stay for the sake of the children or because you are afraid of change.

Avoiding a major marital issue such as a lack of sex causes a marriage to die on the vine, it breeds resentment in the spouse who is feeling less than satisfied and it breaks that bond that all marriages should be built on...the intimacy bond.

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